Sunday, October 31, 2010

The Question Of Personal Motivation

Why do I feel what I feel for you, and more importantly, why do you feel for me what you do? I'm not going to answer the first part of the question in any way, and I'll answer the second part like your worst nightmare.

You repelled me when I came to you. . .the second time, really.  You'd forgotten about the first time we met.  You changed your mind about your initial aversion to me before we had to be parted, in the latter half of our second meeting and never wanted me to go away again.

So what made you change your mind?  Was it a reaction or reflection of what I felt for you? Does that make your feelings conditional?  You're drawn to what I represent, and so many other things in so many ways.  I don't think I'll list them, for you know what they are.  You question your motivation again.  Does this taint what you feel for me?  The fact you're attracted to my characteristics?  Oh, and then there's the power-lust that you can't deny when I share aspects of myself with you.  So you admit to a mercenary interest in me, which you can't help; but think is less than 'kosher'.

You question if you'd still want me around if you were my equal, which in actuality; you are, or if you surpassed me; which you can't.  Am I a tool for you to you to discard if you ever have no further use for me?  A question that you ask yourself all the time, and one that disturbs you to no end.   Are you truly worthy of me?  What do I see in you, and why did we meet for that second time? Are your feelings there for the right reasons, and do you consider your association with me honourable?!

You admit you want something else more than me.  Knowledge.  The Library, or Hall of Records, or whatever you want to call it, is more important to you than I.  So is your sense of independence.  So what does that mean?!

You know something?  I changed my mind!  I don't think I'll tell you what I am to you!!!!!!!!!!!!  I'd be incriminating myself.

See you later.  ;^)  After a hug, my other half of a perfectly balanced scale.  And you're still here, huh?  Does that tell you anything, Mullet-head?



(Why did I broadcast this? Maybe it's something that most of humanity should contemplate.)

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