DONN UI'MIDIR, HERE

KOCH BOYCOTT-----Dayam! The Link Ain't What It Was--Can't Access Sans Membership Now

2010-10-31T23:59:00.002-07:00

Okayyyyyyyyyy. I read the damn report, and now it's gone. Go figure. This is what I get now if I hit the link I originally copy/pasted:

http://www.straightgoods.ca/2011/ViewArticle.cfm?Ref=186&Cookies=yes

It ain't what it was, but that's NOT GONNA STOP ME!!!!!!!!!!

Ah, use this instead:

http://www.google.com/search?client=opera&rls=en&q=the+evils+of+the+koch+brothers&sourceid=opera&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8

Now what happened to the report I read? News suppression? Is the article even there? Maybe I should 'o copy/pasted it on a private file? (But I didn't.) How much of this will continue? It happens all the time. You hear about it on YouTube all the time. This or that video taken down due to. . .mostly complaints by Israel or cops due to police brutality incidents exposed, but still. . . Up to now, this is an add-on edit. Google the bastards yourself, and see what elitist, regressive arseholes they are.

Now on that Koch boycott. . .

A good idea, me thinks; considering all the damage they've done.

They CAN be destroyed. So can every other evil corporation, pharmaceuticals included. If only the general populace got brains, anyway.

I'm putting it on top, because it's kind of like IMPORTANT??????? Maybe THE PEOPLE CAN STOP BEIN' CLUELESS IDIOTS, AND TAKE THEIR POWER BACK??????? AFTER ALL, YOU ARE ALL SO FOOKED BECAUSE YOU GAVE YOURSELVES AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CONSIDERED LIFE MORE IMPORTANT THAN HONOUR AND FREE WILL. SO NOW YOU HAVE WHAT YOU ASKED FOR! NOTHING!!!!!!!!!

YOU HAVE LESS THAN NOTHING!!!!! MOST OF YOU ARE SLAVES!!!!!!!!! SLAVES TO THE ECONOMY, SLAVES TO YOUR CREDIT CARDS, SLAVES TO THE CIRCUMSTANCES YOU BURIED YOURSELF IN DUE TO YOUR DESIRE FOR INSTANT GRATIFICATION, AND SLAVES NOT ONLY TO THE CORPORATE WORLD, BUT SLAVES TO YOURSELVES!!!!!!

THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I'm probably askin' too much. Move right along sausage casin's an' chicks. Nothin' to see here, as they say.

And while we're at it, HOW'S ABOUT GETTIN' STARTED ON MY SOCIALLY SUBVERSIVE BOOK, HUH???
http://whatrevelationnevertoldyou.blogspot.com/?zx=21e520a24713f39b

WHO NEEDS JESUS CHRIST WHEN. . .

2010-10-31T23:59:00.001-07:00

DE SECOND COMIN' AV DONN UI'MIDIR IS 'ERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry, but Oi jist 'ad ter say dat. 'Oy dare an unimportant, arcane creature such as Oi; who 'as been dragged from de 'istory books an' myths av prehistory 'av such 'chutzpa' ter make such a declarashun?

Heh-heh-heh.

Why not? We're on par in wan respect! We are legend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not much 'appened as written. Or 'ill 'appen. Trust me! Yer 'ill fend oyt eventually.

Ach! Forgot meself. Sorry! (Damn Yanks!)

THE SECOND COMING OF DONN UI'MIDIR IS HERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm sorry, but I just had to say that. How dare an unimportant, arcane creature such as I; who has been dragged from the history books and myths of prehistory have such 'chutzpa' to make such a declaration?

Heh-heh-heh.

Why not? We're on par in one respect! WE ARE LEGEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not much happened as written. Or will happen. Trust me! You will find out eventually.

********************

This blog is in proper sequential order. Top to bottom, page 1 through whatever. I play with the dates and times to make it that way. I find the way this blog automatically lays out, rather a bother to read.

Donn Ui'Midir 'Ere, Sort Av

2010-10-31T23:59:00.000-07:00

Never luk at death in de seem way again!

Dead on, De Xanon Chronicles are complete...somewhere else. Oi transferred dem 'ere, an' dat transfer made de formattin' non-existent. That's also de way 'tis gonna stay, unless sum day Oi git pure, pure bored.

Oi 'ope yer damn Yanks can understan' dis, cause quite frankly, Oi'm boke av compromisin' meself. An' since dis site is millin' me an' not respondin' ter me commands roi nigh, Oi guess Oi 'av ter put de list av volumes wi' links on dis page. Or yer can luk at me profile, an' sort through de 'ames. Also, nigh sum av dis stuff is adult content, so watch yisser sprog, 'uh?

An' 'ill yer still respect me after yer read it? Well, it don't matter none ter me, since most av waaat Oi wrote aboyt didn't 'appen; so don't git yisser 'opes up either, 'uh? (heh-heh-heh.)

*************************************************************************************

1) http://whatrevelationnevertoldyou.blogspot.com/?zx=21e520a24713f39b
(What Revelation Never Told You)

2) http://stefan665.blogspot.com/?zx=f37a7835da334a55
(Stefan)

3) http://lifewiththanatos.blogspot.com/?zx=80570e65ffb74429
(Life With Thanatos)

4) http://thewhitecity665.blogspot.com/?zx=40ba871fee47e204
(The White City)

5) http://thesecondtimearound665.blogspot.com/?zx=8d7c478fdeb39cf9
(The Second Time Around)

6) http://theakashiccastle.blogspot.com/?zx=1b8bb0834281957e
(The Akashic Castle)

7) http://vergilxanon2.blogspot.com/?zx=5658cd5d27bfe311
(Warren)

8) http://azrael665.blogspot.com/?zx=e0d9cdc94130554d
(Azrael)

9) http://vergilxanon22.blogspot.com/?zx=a889615fdccbf5f5
(Our Demented Poetry Collection)

10) http://uimidir1a.blogspot.com/?zx=2b3874608fe71ffd
(A Lot of Love, A Little Hate, A Little Philosophy, and A Few Questions)

11) http://uimidir1.blogspot.com/?zx=918cc8a92497e22a
(The Gate Keepers’ Archives #1)

12) http://uimidir.blogspot.com/?zx=45b11f5b45d77563
(The Gate Keepers’ Archives #2)

13) http://gatekeepersarchives3.blogspot.com/?zx=570f38cd16bf2f32
(The Gate Keepers’ Archives #3)

14) http://thegatekeepersarchives4.blogspot.com/?zx=d280895b745d8095
(The Gate Keepers’ Archives #4)

15) http://closure665.blogspot.com/
(Closure)

Illustrations: http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a24/Morgan665/

*************************************************************************************

Ah, an' if yer clap lashings av black, scroll down. Dis tin' didn't transfer worth a shoite. Or in plain fookin' English, the spacing sucks the big one; thank you, Blogger for not allowing a decent copy/past from my MS Works file. You're gonna have a bunch of blank space between some sections, and you're gonna have to scroll down a LOT! PHLLLLLPPPHHHHHTTTTTTT!

And no, I didn't write the whole thing in Irish dialect! I 'ken' (A word I didn't use much, until recently. I generally say 'nu'.) I can't if I want to get my tales across. Now will I write more? Aye, but no more books. And may I also say that all stories on this blog, after this post were writ AFTER my series. It's like a continuation, and it would really be nice if you read the above BEFORE you read what's after this post, to be more 'clued in' on what it's all about. Like would ya watch part 2 of the 1960's Batman episodes first, or watch Flash Gordon in random order? Sheesh! This is a SERIES written in part like a stream of consciousness thing. I admit my short stories are better than the main series, but the main series is entertaining if you are OPEN MINDED. (It might also help if you're Irish, or Greek, or Pagan, or 'alternative', or emo, or Goth, or you hate life, or you're an iconoclast, or if you want your brain scrambled. . .oh, you get the idea.) After all, I do go all out, no holds barred if no one gets hurt, OK? We all do!

Oh, and one more thing! Don't ask me any stupid questions. In fact, don't ask me ANY questions, considering I don't 'technically' exist, OK?????????

I Lied! Two more things!

Ah, an' if yer want me series in audio, yer can go ter De Gothic Writers' Guild. Naw, 'tis not me readin' it. Me voice is 'igher, me accent is Oirish, an' Oi blather lashings faster. Also, any formattin' errors or missed chapters are not me fault, aye?

http://www.gothicguild.org/

De lass who owns dis site might git it straightened oyt wan day. If not, Oi forgive 'er. She's a pure jammers lady, an' yes; dis is free. After al', waaat chucker Oi nade wi' nicker? Or shud Oi say, 'After all, what do I need with money'?

Am I drivin' yer crazy yet? If not, give it time! I already had one lad say about me, 'e didn't know whether 'e wanted to drown me or make me 'is butt monkey, though not in that order! Ye gods, as if! Me two's wan too many! Sometimes two too many!

Oh, an' bein' this is non-profit, feel free to copy it to your own personal files. Just don't claim it as your own. If you do, I'll track you down and sue you for a nose hair coat from your own nostrils! I have a mucker who wants wan, I mean one. Damn, switchin' dialect is a pain.

Slave Ship

2010-10-31T23:58:00.000-07:00

Slave Ship

Imagine spending weeks in the cargo-hold, crammed with naked bodies, some living, some dead, until the crew removed the corpses to throw into the sea. Imagine being fed only small pieces of worm infested biscuits, rotten gruel, and ancient salted meat not fit for maggots, and only being given bracken water or urine to drink. If we refused to eat, we had our teeth knocked out, and were force-fed through a funnel. You are branded, and chained, forced to stand or kneel in your own waste and vomit, for there was no room to lie down...until enough of us had died to be thrown overboard. Not that we did lie down if we still had the strength to stand. The floor of the hold was too vile, but at least later I could kneel or sit to sleep. Those of us who were too tall had to kneel, for the roof of the hatch was low! We couldn't go to the bathroom without going on someone else. You aren't a person. You're property. Cargo. Nothing more. If you fought for your freedom if just to try to jump into the sea when you were brought on deck, you might have had a limb cut off for rebelling, not that I stood a chance, being a small woman. I'd also been dragged on deck a number of times to be raped, for I was a pretty one. Twice, I were raped by one who was chained behind me, but those men were killed before they were even finished with me, perhaps by the one who was behind them. I was in no state to notice, but it was one of the few things that made me happy, though I never found whom my vindicators were.

I might as well have been a sack of flour. I was ill, and festering. I wasn't sure I was going to make it across the Atlantic alive. I lost track of time long ago, so I had no idea how long I'd been here. I hadn't even been on deck, except for the times I was raped by the ranking crewmembers after having cold ocean water thrown on me to rinse me off the worst of the refuse that had been clinging to me.

My name was Aisling Nolan. A poor young girl on the verge of womanhood who was in the wrong place, at the wrong time! I'd been kidnapped in Aberdeen, Scotland, and I was on a ship to work the sugar plantations of Barbados.

*****

I really thought I wasn’t going to make it. After more than half of us had died in my time out of time, I heard a call on us docking. I don't know if that was good news. I was told by the first mate as he ravished me and ripped me apart; that on the sugar plantations, if you didn't do was expected, you'd get whipped, and left naked in the tropical sun to finish your day's work. He said I was also going to be raped by the black overseers to have babies for my master. Lovely!

I planned to kill every one of them. If I couldn't kill myself before it happened, anyway.

*****

What I'd envisioned, and what actually happened were not the same. Yes, I had more water thrown on me along with the rest of us after we were hauled on deck, and I was handled rough as I was taken off the ship with my fellow slaves, not that this did much to really clean us off. It only got rid of the worst. We were still in chains as we were led off the ship. That part of my nightmare came to be as expected! What came next; was not.

A few minutes after I was I was taken off the ship, 'the line' was stopped. A beautiful, young, longhaired, red-blond, well-dressed man pointed to me. He was holding some sort of cloth. He gave the captain some gold coins, and the ring around my neck was unlatched. I collapsed.

I was violently brought to my feet by one of the ship’s yeoman, and the well-dressed man who’d bought me, said, "Leave her! She's mine." His accent was Irish. Would I be shown some sympathy?

I guess so. The cloth the man was holding me was like a friar's robe. He helped put it on me, and then he picked me up to carry me to his horse...or pony, as I'd later find out the stallion was. "What's to happen to me?" I asked.

"You'll get washed up, fed, and allowed to regain your strength. Well decide later."

This wasn't as bad I'd feared but I still planned on killing myself as soon as I could.

The man put me on his mount, and got up behind me. I passed out as he was talking

to me about his stallion. He'd handled me very gently.

*****

In a while I was awoken. I was on the grounds of a huge estate with many trees, and a grand house. The man behind me dismounted, and helped me down from Hesper, as his pony was called. It was a strange name I'd never heard of.

I fell to the ground, and was too weak to stand, not that I could have walked very well after the long ride, never having been on a horse before. The man who bought me picked me up, and as he held me in his arms, he told another man of long, fiery hair, "Stefan! Can you groom Hesper for me? It looks like I'm going to be busy for a while." My own hair was red.

Stefan scowled. "She's so little." Another Irish accent!

"We'll take care of her. This one isn't for the fields." Whatever that meant!

I was taken to a room on the ground floor with flattened, cobbled stone, a drainage grid in the floor, a strange, hollowed seat was by the wall, and there was a sink, a tub, a bench, and a mirror. There were bars of soap, and strange bottles of viscous liquids by the tub, and fancy perfume bottles, a brush, and a glass by the sink. I was led to the sink, and given a strange box with a brush of sorts inside, and a capped metal tube. "What's this?" I asked.

"You put what's in the tube on the brush, and wash your teeth with it." He turned a lever on the sink, and water came out of it. I jumped back in shock, never having seen anything like this. "You then rinse your mouth out with water, after. Put the brush in the glass after you're done to use later."

"What is that? How do you get the water like that?"

"We call it indoor-plumbing. It has something to do with water pressure, and the levers are used to stop it, or the room would flood." He pointed at a strange seat, which was hollow in the middle. "That is where you sit to relieve yourself. The paper next to it is to clean up until you get another bath, and after..." he walked over to it, and pressed a lever, "you flush."

I flinched at the noise. "I'd never seen this."

"Toilet. Better than an outhouse. As for the water of the sink and tub, the lever on the right is cold water the lever on the left is hot."

I smiled. "This is how the aristocrats live on Barbados?"

"I'm the only one on the island with this technology," the man said. "I'm Vergil Xanon, by the way."

"I'm Aisling Nolan. Back home, my master was rich, but he had nothing like this."

"You were a house servant?" Vergil asked.

"I was. Will I be the same, here?"

"We'll see. Clean your teeth!"

I looked at the long box the brush was in, and opened it. I opened the tube, and put some of what was in it on the brush. It smelled nice. Like mint. After I put the box down that had contained the brush, Vergil took it, and threw it into an empty basket by the sink. "What is that?" I asked, pointing to the basket.

"Garbage basket, for things you don't need anymore."

I nodded. I took the brush to my teeth. It tasted almost sweet. It was pleasant.

My teeth! They were yellow and brown, and I'd lost some of them. After I was finished cleaning them, they were white, when I looked into the mirror. My mouth was also pain free, and I saw white stubs at every space where I'd lost my teeth. "This tooth soap is sorcerous?" I asked.

"Yes." Vergil went to the tub, and turned on the water. It came out fast, and it scared me. He tested the temperature, and adjusted the levers. "Take the robe off, and get in. The water is warm."

"Are you going to rape me, too?"

"Ye gods, NO!!!!!!!!!!! That was horrible, what was done to you and the others. More than half of you died on the voyage, as usual. I'd stop the slave trade if I could, but it's beyond me."

I got out of the robe, and sat in the tub. I was so weak, I didn't know if I'd be able to get out of it again after I was finished. Vergil handed me the soap, and a washcloth which I have no idea where he got, from. The soap smelled very nice. Like some sort of flower, and I'd never seen anything like it. "Same," I said.

"Clean yourself up as well as you can with the water running and the drain open, for now. " Vergil lifted one of the bottles. "This is for your hair."

I nodded, and did as I was told. The liquid for my hair was thick, and it also smelled pleasant and foamed up a lot. I never dreamed anything like this could exist, and it was nice. "This is strange, but I like it," I said.

Vergil barely paid attention to me, and seemed off in his own world as I had my bath. After a while, he came over, he turned the water off, and let what there was drain out. Then he hit another lever, poured another liquid into the tub, and turned the water on again. The water foamed, and was oily, but it smelled good. "Time to heal the wounds on your skin. You don't feel sick anymore either, right?" The tub filled, and the water wasn't drained.

"No." I hadn't even noticed, until he mentioned it. "Are you a wise-man of the old knowledge?"

"I am." When the water was almost to the top of the tub, he turned it off. "Let me get you some clothes." He left me, then.

This was bizarre. From the vilest circumstances a girl could be in, I was transferred into a place that was beyond the dreams of royalty. Did I still want to die? But what was in store for me?

Vergil had treated me with a respect I’d never know in my entire life. This estate was grander than anything I’d ever seen, and I had even ridden a horse, which I had never even dreamed of doing, even though I was unconscious for most of the trip. And on that horse, I was held in front of the handsomest man I’d ever seen in my life. An Irishman, on top of that, despite his odd, not very Irish name!

Vergil had said my skin would heal. I did feel good, now; under this hot, oiled, soapy, pleasantly scented water. I looked at my skin, and it was smooth, with no sores, and it looked paler than I’d remembered it. I also didn’t hurt from having been raped, anymore.

When Vergil came back, he was carrying a bag. He placed it carefully on the bench. “Are you about done?” he asked.

I suppose I was. “Yes.”

He came over to the tub, and pressed the lever to let the water go. “Stay there, and let’s rinse you off. Your hair, too! Hold your head under the faucet when I get the water right.”

“All right.” Again, I followed his request.

After I got out, he gave me a large towel to dry off, and then he went back to the bench. “We’ll eat after you dress. We don’t eat meat, here. Animals are our brothers and sister.”

I nodded, and I liked what he said. I never got much meat, anyway. I had considered it a treat, but it wasn’t food for the house servants. Unless it was the cook, that is, but that wasn’t my job! I’d been one of the cleaning drudges, and errand runners. At least I had clothes to wear, got enough to eat, and a roof over my head. That was more than most of my impoverished class had, and I was glad for it even though I received no salary. My life could have been much worse, for the time. As it had, after I was kidnapped for the slave ship. That was the ultimate nightmare.

I kept the towel wrapped around me, as Vergil motioned me toward the bench. I came to him, he reached into the bag, he scowled, and pulled out something I couldn’t believe. Black, satin silk, laced panties. I’d never seen anything like it. Underwear wasn’t part of my uniform. It wasn’t something the lower economic strata had access to, unless they made something of their own when they could; and that wasn’t common. It was considered a wasted effort. I myself had only two dresses and a bonnet. I didn’t even have any shoes, and always went barefoot.

The dress I’d been wearing was taken from me before I was loaded on the slave ship, and now I had nothing. My own body didn’t even belong to me. Vergil had bought it.

I put the panties on. “Would you like to look at yourself?” Vergil asked me, as he pointed to the mirror?

I looked at him, and then went to the mirror. I opened my towel, and I was stunned! I looked a bit more filled out than the last I time I saw myself. It made no sense, considering I’d been on the verge of either dying of starvation or my illnesses just earlier today. I was positively beautiful. I almost couldn’t believe what I saw. I looked so perfect. I had milky skin with a few freckles here and there, not that they looked bad. “What did you do to me?!”

Vergil chuckled. “Not much, really. I bought you, put you on my pony, brought you here, helped you to the ground, led you to this room, and you did the rest.”

“How can I look like this?”

“How can I answer that? You look like what you look like! Would you like to finish getting dressed?”

“All right.” After this, I wondered if I was going to be getting into a fancy gown. I wrapped the towel up around myself again, and walked back to the bench.

I went back to the bench, and Vergil handed me a very strange pair of black, soft shiny stockings that went all the way up to the waist, and were put on like pants. “These are odd,” I said.

“New style.”

I put them on. Next he handed me thick, leg hugging stocking that would go halfway up my calves. I took them, and put them on. This was so odd. Next, he handed me something I’d never seen before. “What is this, and how do I wear it?”

“It’s called a leotard top.” He took it, and held it up to himself. “You wear it like this, and you just step into it.”

I nodded, and took it back. It covered my breasts, was very low in the back, and it had shoulder straps, but it didn’t cover any part of my arms. I put the towel on the bench, and looked down at my form-fitting outfit. I had no idea if this was it. It wasn’t very modest, but it covered me. “Will I have shoes?”

He smiled at me. “You’ll have boots, like mine,” he said.

I scowled. “Men’s boots?” That was unheard of, for a lass to wear.

He winked, and pulled a set of black breeches from the bag. “Aye. Better for you, for now.”

I smiled. “You’re giving me men’s clothes?”

“Easier to ride in. We only have one kind of saddle here. We have women’s clothes for you too.”

I got into the breeches. “These fit so well. How did you do this?”

He shrugged. “I don’t make too many mistakes any more.” He pulled some brand new boots of the bag. “Stefan dresses kind of like this. These are practical clothes.”

“The red haired man who took your pony!”

“Aye. Want to look at yourself again?”

“In fact, I do,” I said. I went back to the mirror, and I really liked what I saw. “These clothes are pretty.”

“One more thing,” said Vergil, as he pulled a puffy sleeved, lacy white shirt from the bag. I had to pull it over my head, and tie some thick white strings around my neck to secure it. “If you like, I also bought some perfumes for you.”

I put it on, and went back to the mirror. I couldn’t believe my good fortune. I then went back to the sink and sprayed one of the perfumes on my wrist. It smelled like some flowers I’d never smelled before. I loved it. I put some on my neck, and in my hair. “What am I?” I asked Vergil, when I walked back to him.

He cocked his head. “Hungry, I imagine. Let’s go to the dining room.”

*****

I was amazed at what I saw. There was a long table, and some people were already eating. There was a man with very black hair, and slanted eyes like I’d never seen before with the most beautiful, olive skinned, black haired woman I ever saw in my life. There was also a white man with glowing red eyes who looked just like Vergil, Stefan was there, and a beautiful black couple. I’d been threatened I’d have a black overseer who would act as a stud for me, but I’d never seen a black person before. All the slaves who were with me were kidnapped poor, children, or ‘criminal’ whites, whose only crime had been trying to survive.

The table was laden with all kinds of dishes which smelled heavenly, and which I’d never seen before. There were rich sauces, breads, teakettles, and pitchers of different coloured, fruity smelling liquids.

The white man who looked like Vergil said, “Why, hello; Aisling. I’m Keith, and welcome to our house. Help yourself to whatever you want.”

“Hello, everyone.” I just had to smile. “Is everyone Irish here?”

The slanted eyed man said, “By proxy. I’m Ronin, the lovely lady at my side is Deliah, the dear ones across from me are Tonya and Andre, and I believe you’ve already met Stefan.” Yes, he had an Irish accent, too.

Everyone waved at me.

I looked at the table. I have no idea where to start,” I said as I looked at Vergil.

He shrugged, and took a plate. He put rice on it, poured a thick green, soupy vegetable over it, spooned out some lentils in a yellow sauce, some battered, fried vegetable, and some other vegetables in a thick, yellow sauce. He put a thin piece of oily bread with bits of garlic and onion on it on my plate, and put it before me. Then he poured some tea into my cup, and a cloudy white liquid in my glass. He put the same things on his own plate, and I waited for him to come back before I started eating.

It was the best food I’d ever had in my life. I ended up having three platefuls, and a desert of what I was told was passionfruit mousse pie with whipped cream. I swear I still had room, but I didn’t eat any more.

“Are you strong enough for a ride, now?” asked Vergil, as we finished our meals.

I shrugged. “It seems I am, though I don’t know why. Hours ago, I was almost dead.”

Stefan coughed, and covered his mouth. He also seemed to be struggling not to laugh.

Vergil looked at him. “Steffy-poo! Be good, and I’ll pet your nose after we get back, all right?”

The whole table broke out in chuckles, along with me; considering what Vergil had said, though nonsensical, was rather funny.

Stefan nodded, laughing quite hard. “Thank you.”

I looked at Vergil. He smiled, and said, “It’s a private joke. You’ll find out all about it very soon.”

I shrugged. “All right. I think I’m going to like working here, but what is it I’ll be doing?”

“Now, just going for a ride. Take a break and recover from your horrid journey to this place. Stef, I think Shiva would be good for Aisling to ride.”

“If he’s willing, which I’m sure he will be, for the rubdown I’m going to give him after he’s done,” said Stefan.

“I’d verify with him,” said Vergil.

Stefan closed his eyes. “He’s game. I’ll go to the stables with you.”

“Thank you.”

I had no idea what anyone was talking about.

*****

Shiva was a beautiful grey pony with a black mane and tail, and black feathers. He also had a stripe going down his back, and a black nose. I almost couldn’t believe I’d be riding such a fine animal. A halter was put on him, along with a real light saddle. Vergil told me never to kick him, or handle him rough. I was warned if I did such a thing, I would end up being thrown, and possibly attacked. In fact, it was suggested that I just give him the lead, and let him do what he wanted with no input from me. He was smart enough to do that I was told, and I’d let him.

When we rode away from the house, we went to the back of it. There was a wide trail we took, in a heavily wooded forest. It was much cooler from when I’d been brought here. The trees also looked different. It was almost like back home in Aberdeen, but a little warmer. “I haven’t seen any plantations,” I said.

“There are none by this house,” said Vergil.

“And you’re not telling me what I’m supposed to do for you. Why you bought me! You paid a high price for me in gold! I saw it.”

“Let me tell you after we get home. It won’t be bad, but first tell me what you would like to do.”

“I don’t know. I never thought of it. I used to think only of survival. After my parents more or less sold me to Master Phillip Devon, I just had to finish the tasks they gave me. I mostly had to clean things, like scrub the floors, dishes, dust, and laundry. I was also sent to market, and delivered messages. When I was on my way to the market, I was abducted for the slave ship. It happened all the time.

“Working for the Devon estate was hard, but Master Devon was rather kind. I was well fed, and I got a small room with a pallet that I only had to share with one other servant lass. Mistress Sarah Devon liked me, too. She would sometimes feed me a pastry, but it was nothing like here,” I said. “I’ve never had clothes this good, and the bath I had with those soaps for my hair and body were something not even Mistress Devon had. Water had to be gotten from the well, and heated; and they only had baths during the warm months, maybe once every week or two. Usually everyone used washbasins, and I only had soap from lye and lard. It didn’t smell as good as yours.”

“I have an unfair advantage over the Devons, and I’ll tell you all about that in the same conversation we’ll have in as to what you are to me.”

“You look young to have all this land.”

“I’m older than I look,” said Vergil.

“Do you have a wife?”

He laughed. “That wouldn’t be possible.”

Too bad! “Why does Keith have red glowing eyes, and is he your brother?”

The eyes aren’t natural, and we’re not related. Nothing about him is natural. He’s of the Sidhe. In fact, so am I.”

I nodded. “I think I’m beginning to understand. Am I still where I was, or in your land.”

He smiled, and rode closer to me. “You’re very perceptive, and very intelligent. You are in my native realm. I also have another name, but that will wait a little while.”

I closed my eyes, and smiled. “I think I owe you my life.”

“And to tell you the truth, I have no use for it.”

“Why did you take me? Why am I here, not that I have any complaints. This is a fortune too good to be true.”

“Aisling, you are supposed to be here. It is your destiny. You were to meet me when you were sixteen.”

“I didn’t even know how old I was, not that it ever mattered.”

“Let’s turn back home,” he said as he turned his pony.

Shiva followed Hesper’s moves. “All right,” I said. “Can you tell me why you said you’d pet Stefan’s nose?”

He sighed. “As you noted, Stefan has a very large nose, and he pretends to live for it. A lot of jokes are told about that nose, and he also has a lot of jokes pertaining to cannibalism; but don’t take him seriously. He’s somewhat of a prankster, and can be quite amusing.”

“Is Stefan one of your servants?”

“We work together. I wouldn’t call him a servant. You might be the same as he, in some respects. Occupationally.”

“What do you do?”

“Now? Mostly art. We play music, we paint and draw, and other things.”

“I’m no artist,” I said.

“Would you like to be?”

“I’ve never thought about it, but I suppose it’s not a bad thing to be.”

“It’s not. In fact, it’s a very good thing to be. I’ll train you well if you have a knack for it.”

“Thank you.”

*****

When we were almost home, the ground was different. The dirt trail became cobbled, and it was never like that. Also, the house was gone. In its place was a castle, and there was a moat around it. “What is this?” I asked.

Vergil extended a hand to me. “It’s my home, as it is. Not the illusion I had you see earlier.”

“This looks like where I came from. The trees, the cold, everything.”

“We’re close to where you came from. Just west of it, across the sea to the southwest of the isle of Eire.”

I took his hand, and the ponies stopped. I knew the legends. “You are Donn?”

He nodded. “Donn, son of Midir the Proud. Welcome to my home.”

I smiled, as I looked into his beautiful, wide, black eyes. “I died on the slave ship.”

“As you had to, to atone yourself to yourself when you were on the other side of your last experience.” He drew back his hand from me, and dismounted.

I also got off Shiva.

Donn opened his arms, and invited me into his embrace.

After we wrapped ourselves around each other, I came to know everything that happened and why in this life, my last life, and all others before it.

I also knew this had been my last, thank the gods!

Delusions Are Us

2010-10-31T23:57:00.000-07:00

As you sit in obscure glory;
The epitome of contempt
Just basking in your arrogance,
I shake my head and do attempt
To make sense of you.
You have isolated yourself
To spurn all for me and my kind,
And you call it self-containment.
To think like that, I'd say your blind.
You have a view
Of yourself that's misdirected.
You need not what you are, you say;
Yet you're hardly self-reliant.
You can't be, where there's night and day.
See your thoughts anew.
In your realm, you still must be fed,
And most knowledge is kept from you
In part much to keep you in check,
And keep you from turning the screw
While you're mind's askew
From reactive hostilities
As ancient as the day you fell
Into the state you are now in,
And the hatred in which you dwell
From the mess life's brew
Has scarred you with. Now look at me.
I came to you to give you peace
And purpose to your last round here
When in the past you tried to cease
The life that you grew
To despise more than anything.
The life that you promised to me,
Before you were born, this time 'round.
At least you filled your destiny,
But just wait the few

Moments in time for when I can take you back,
And you can become as how you now see yourself.

(Naw worries, rossie! Ah've got yer covered in de only way dat counts. Dis cycle's de last.)

Hey, Rebel!

2010-10-31T23:56:00.000-07:00

My Black Tiger, you call yourself.
You said you'd live and die for me.
Dude, you're in one strange phantasy.
The rules are diff'rent here, you see.
I don't need you, but I'll have you.
Your devotion's hard to resist.
I saw before, it won't desist;
So on taking you, I'd insist;
As a case for eternity.
I obsessed you, 'fore you met me.
I wasn't what you thought I'd be,
And a short term calamity
Our strange beginnings did become
Due your unsound expectations.
Still, now we've got good foundations
For a love and strange creations

That were never seen anywhere before.

Donn

Think Not Of Me In Analogy

2010-10-31T23:55:00.000-07:00

Compare me to none, for I am myself.
I wear black, not white. I am transition.
I am no pretender. Like mortals born,
I am but of mortal disposition.
I am sheer power, yet still very frail.
In limited knowledge, I've made mistakes.
I try to make sure all works as it should,
And I haven't done too many retakes
For a man living so long out of time.
Take me as I am. No other's like me,
And I am not like any others, lass.
Stop your projections, for reality

Is not always conjured by your mind,
And remember who and what you are; as well.

Finally, forgive us both for our errors.

A Reflection On The Greatest Vengeance

2010-10-31T23:50:00.000-07:00

Thanatos and I were just sitting on the couch of the Akashic Castle, each with an arm around each other, sharing thoughts wordlessly, when Thanatos jerked up. "Donn, we have to stop."

“Stefan!”

Thanatos smiled. “Let’s dress in his sort of style. You wear a tan 18th-19th century hybrid. 18th century white shirt with ruffled sleeves, tan breeches, vest, tailed coat, high collar and cravat for shirt, and high collar for the coat, and cloak. Black and tan riding boots, with the top band of the boots tan, a dark brown cloak, and an epee at your side. I’ll wear something similar, but in black.

I closed my eyes, scanned what Thanatos envisioned, and my black tunic was replaced by a not quite historically accurate, but stylish suit of a pre-Victorian gentleman. Shortly after, Thanatos was also redressed, and what a handsome, and impressive picture he was. The jet-black clothes on his snow-coloured form was something I’d have to paint as soon as possible.

When we went to Stefan, he was pacing, and raging in the holographic garden on the lowest basement floor.

*****

“Stef!” said Thanatos.

Stefan whirled on us, with a scowl on his face. “Wow!”

Thanatos crossed his arms. “Gate Keeper dude! Your present state of mind is not becoming of you. Especially since you declared that you were over that thing you call your incubator.”

Stefan bared his teeth. He was in his part time fangs, for the moment. “I just walked away from that bitch. Burned the address, and decided that was that. I never told her what I thought of her. It’s grating on me, and I kind of want to take a trip into the past. 2011 sounds nice.”

Thanatos chuckled. “Stef, you weren’t even technically alive then. We’d taken you a bit before that.”

“She didn’t know that. We lived at opposite ends of the country. She was in Carthage, North Carolina that year. Imagine if I appeared as the buffed Kyle Shannon I was at my height, knocked on the door, dropped off ‘our’ book that she never saw, and told her that I hoped that the Russians had gotten her.”

“That’s not a nice thing to tell an old lady who’s a World War II survivor,” I said. “You could also look it up.”

“Never have, never will,” said Stefan. “I’m sorry, but I am having a real regressive moment. I am severely bothered right now over the fact that I never really settled this with either her or myself.”

Thanatos tilted his head, and smiled. “You also did a rather amusing song about her called, ‘Mama Was A Psycho Bitch From Hell’. Would you like to give her the CD you and Kevin did when you were alive that never sold one copy?”

Stefan first covered his mouth as he started to laugh, but then a look of surprise crossed his face. “Dude! Your fangs! They’re gone!”

I looked at Thanatos. “Huh?”

He raised his upper lip. “Only for now.”

“I hope so. I love those things,” said Stefan. “Now does that mean I get to time-trip back now with that book collection, maybe a compiled picture book of a couple hundred of our best paintings, and that CD?”

Thanatos shook his head. “You will do no such thing, Stefan! You’ve hurt her enough by disowning her and disappearing from her life when you were 19. She realised the error of her ways and did a much better job raising her last child.”

“Her last man-trap to glue her final husband to her. After all, he was an officer and a gentleman. Not only did he make a lot of money, he also helped her clean the house. Yeah, I looked the kid up once. A ranked golfer, whiz at school, BS in psychology and she also had a crotch dropping in her 20s. Talk about throwing your life away.”

“That’s not how everyone sees children. She is a bit better adjusted than you are at the moment, dude! She was a good protégé, played the game, and it worked for her. But she didn’t have to deal with a volatile basket case who didn’t know what she was doing, or was even ready for parenthood when she had you and your first two half siblings,” said Thanatos.

“I really do think she should have aborted the first three of us,” said Stefan.

I crossed my arms. “You all turned out OK, and if she had, you wouldn’t have been able to transduce the first ten volumes I wrote, you wouldn’t have experienced all you experienced with us; including getting the living daylights screwed out of you.”

Stefan laughed. “With you two dressed like that, I almost want you to screw the living daylights out of me again. You two are absolutely gorgeous in that quasi-Victorian look. Not quite Dracula-esque enough for my taste, though.”

Thanatos looked at the ceiling, and sighed. “Seducing you was NOT why I had us dress like this, and if you wanna get screwed; you are NOT staying in the gender you currently are.”

Stefan cocked his head, smiled, and switched gender. “OK. The gender thing is fixed, but let’s hold off. I almost would rather go off and do another painting of you, though I want the horses in the background, lightly tacked.”

Thanatos smiled, and extended his arms. “Come ‘ere, babe.”

Stephanie walked over to him, accepted his embrace, and returned it.

Thanatos looked at me, and winked. I nodded, came behind Stephanie, and held her from there, with my left arm doing my best to include Thanatos in my embrace. He stroked Stef’s hair, my hair, then kissed her on the temple. He scraped the side of her jaw with his now all too human teeth. “Stephanie, I will shortly have a confession to make to you, and I think you’re going to like it. But now, let’s just all hold hands, and walk through this holographic garden.”

Stephanie closed her eyes. “OK.”

*****

Damn, we didn’t spend nearly enough time down here. It was so quiet, dark, and so serene, where mists from beneath the floor were perpetually vented up, and those mists were very thick up to our knees. The mists were scented differently, depending on what three-dimensional picture image of what flower was before us. If we were by the roses, we’d smell roses, if we were by the carnations, we’d smell carnations, and so on. The room was lit up by the holograms themselves, and additional torches of different flames, like what had been in my garden of Tech Duinn. The only thing I missed was a chance to see the sun set, but that was all right. I could go somewhere else to see that if I really wanted to.

Of course we had our benches and lit fountains. No, there were no gazebos in this garden. We left those behind at Tech Duinn. They were there for shade, and protection from the rain, sleet, snow, or hail. Being this was an indoor garden of illusion, there was no practical application whatsoever for having gazebos, so no one manifested any.

We were walking hand in hand, and Stephanie was between us. “Stef, you asked for the life you lived to get Donn again, and I was part of the package. There is no justification for you hating the tool you used to get here,” said Thanatos. “This must be the billionth time we’ve had this conversation, and it never does any long term good even to this day.”

“Can’t help but dwell on being literally thrown across the kitchen for accidently dropping a bottle of milk, or being kicked in the Achilles tendon for allegedly dragging my feet, or being smashed into a table for biting my nails, and all that. Or being made to weed the four sides of the house without proper sun protection, or only getting attention when I stepped out of line, which wasn’t very often; having been a bit averse to pain.”

I said, “You got off a lot easier than Joel’s kids. They got thrashed several times a day. Once your brother was even inspired to jump out of a second storey window to escape her wrath.”

Stephanie laughed. “I’m surprised we all survived her. I wouldn’t have, if I’d known about all the nice toxic plants in our backyard when we lived in Warren.”

Thanatos stopped us. He embraced Stephanie again. “OK, dude! Time for my confession! I wanted to wait until after this walk, but I might as well get it over with.” Of course, she held him in return.

“OK, this I’ve gotta hear, myself,” I said.

“Note how none of us never met her. How she never came to us.”

I scowled. “Considering all circumstances, that is a bit odd.”

Thanatos kissed Stephanie on the forehead. “I wouldn’t allow it, for more reasons than one. I will also admit some of those reasons are not honourable at all.”

Stephanie looked up at him. “Oh?”

Thanatos smiled, and caressed her hair. “I could have allowed you to meet and truly settle your differences, but the hate you feel is such a strong inspirational force for your art; though it’s hard to tell for those you don’t know you. You feed off that hate to create some absolutely, astoundingly beautiful works, and if it weren’t there; a lot of the passion in your masterpieces just wouldn’t be there.

“Now we want Stef Shannon, not Norman Rockwell, OK?”

Stef held Thanatos tighter. “How much more can I love you?”

“You never told me that,” I said to Thanatos.

“That’s not something you or anyone else needed to know, until now. So can we drop it? Sort of? Or just revel quietly in your antipathy, and do what you gotta do?” asked Thanatos of Stephanie.

“Until I feel like bitching about it again, I guess,” said Stephanie.

I chuckled. “Sounds realistic. Also sounds like the last thing anyone needs here is to get this resolved.”

“Only for a while. It’ll happen eventually. After all, ultimately there is only one soul. We’ve got to reconsolidate with everything in the end,” said Thanatos. “I also have another confession, but that is going to have to wait until after this walk.”

“Does it have anything to do with my nose?” asked Stephanie.

“Stef, your precious nose is the last thing on my mind right now. Trust me. Let’s go to the far wall, turn right, and then leave by the dark pole entrance nearest to us.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “Then what?”

“We skate for a while doing solo performances, then we look at the paintings we did. All of our stuff, including everything everyone did from Andre to Warren. Then you and me can bring Stef to the right realisation.”

“And when do you get your fangs back?” asked Stephanie.

“After we’re done hogging each other for this period of our consciousness.”

*****

Thanatos was the first on the ice. He’d changed to just white satin shorts, and he manifested the tiger stripes that he’d worn for Kale Feldt. Of course he wore socks under his skates. There were no illusions involving holographic lights, or time-trip tricks. He skated like a mortal, and due to his superior strength and speed, he left me in the dust; considering he could now not only do everything I could do, but more.

He did ice-danced to ‘Ride of the Valkyries’, ‘Für Elise’, and ‘Greensleeves’. He went from sheer athletic prowess to grace that couldn’t be surpassed by anyone or anything. I almost couldn’t wait to hit a new canvass before he was halfway through with his second song. I know how much we resembled each other, but due to his exotic colouration, I thought he looked a bit better than I; and I wasn’t the only one who thought so, based on...oh, never mind.

I went next, and changed into my favourite black silk tunic before going on the ice. After Than’s impressive performance, I knew I didn’t stand a chance on outranking him in any way, but I went for three somewhat slow songs, and tried to go for beauty and grace. I played some old favourite, more progressive rock tunes of ours. ‘Kashmir’, ‘Immigrant Song’, and ‘Nobody’s Hero’.

When it was Stephanie’s turn, she switched gender. “Man, I could watch you two forever,” he said.

“Thanks. Looks like we’re going to all three of us hit the art studio after we’re through with our stints,” I said.

“Damn right,” said Stefan. “And it seems we save the worst for last? There’s no way I can measure up to you two.”

“You do it all the time, Stef. Come on! You’re just as much of a pleasure to watch as any of us. What you can’t do, you make up for in style,” said Thanatos.

He smiled. “Thanks.” He stood up, and said, “I still haven’t figured out which costume I want.”

I shrugged. “Can’t help you there.”

He sighed, and then shrugged. He ended up donning a loose-sleeved poet shirt, and a kilt. He put a tartan design on his skates, as well.

“Cute,” I said. “New one, huh?”

“New outfit, but old music. I’m gonna go slow, too.”

I nodded, and sat down. “Break a leg, babe.”

Stef would pick ‘Scarborough Faire’, as done by Geoff Tate, ‘Jet City Woman’, and ‘Don’t You Forget About Me’. His performance was impeccable. His grace matched mine, though he kept the routines pretty tame. He wasn’t dressed for anything too wild. There would be no aerials, even though by now he could do them as well as I, for instance.

As Stefan was finishing up, Thanatos got up, and skated over to him. In a few seconds, Stef would be a woman in a flowing, black, silk and sheer knee length dress. Her skates went black, to match the outfit. Thanatos was still in his shorts and stripes.

They ice-danced together. They did interpretive numbers to ‘Dancin’ in the Ruins’, and ‘White Flags’. The two of them almost had me in tears; the performance was so captivating. When it was over, Thanatos immediately changed back to his not quite Victorian outfit he had worn earlier, cloak included, and motioned me over to them. He had an arm wrapped around Stephanie. When I was in reach, Thanatos put his free hand on my right shoulder, and we weren’t on the ice anymore.

So much for looking at the paintings like we’d planned.

*****

Both Stephanie and I reeled from the unexpected change of scenery. The three of us ended up in one of the halls of Tech Duinn. We were by the exit to the garden, just around the corner from the spa. Thanatos kissed Stephanie on the cheek, and then manoeuvred his lips to where her right shoulder met her neck. He scraped his teeth over that part of her, and caressed her in such a way to set her on fire. Hell, he set me on fire.

Thanatos clenched his teeth, and locked his lips on Stef’s neck. They couldn’t have held each other any closer. Stephanie lifted her left foot, which no longer had skating blades on the ends of her boots. None of us did. She wrapped her left leg around Than’s right. I got behind her, pressed myself against her, wrapped my left arm around her, and did my best to get Thanatos with my right. Thanatos, with his lips still on Stephanie’s neck, managed to caress my hair and give back that one armed embrace a little more efficiently, being he was a bit taller than I, and had noticeably longer arms.

“Mmmmmmmmmmmm. If I wasn’t part of this sandwich, I’d sink to the floor,” whispered Stephanie.

I lipped her ear. “And it is cold out here. Is it the winter, love?” I asked Thanatos.

‘Yes,’ I got a telepathic response. ‘And if you think I’m going to divest the way mortals do, you’ve got another thing coming.’

I chuckled. “I have a lot less to get out of, and I have no intention of doing that myself.”

Thanatos’ lips left Stephanie’s neck. No, there was not a mark on her. Not the slightest trace of a ‘hickey’. He looked at me, smiled, and we were suddenly on the other side of the door of the spa, totally un-attired.

I went into the water first. “Musk oil?”

“Please,” said Stephanie.

I flipped the tan switch to release the oil into the turbulent water. Thanatos went in next, and he left a space between us for Stephanie, not that it was needed. When she was about to sit down, Thanatos pushed her toward me. She pointed at me, looked at Thanatos, and he smiled, and nodded. She looked at me, verified I was ready, and straddled me. We embraced each other, as she rested her head on my right shoulder, and kept me delicately titillated via occasional, sporadic contractions.

Thanatos stood up, and pressed himself behind her. “Time for the rest of my confession.”

“Go,” said Stephanie.

He kissed her on top of the head. “I know because of what your mother did to you, you are comfortably here with us as you should be. I know it was all planned in advance, though you did end up regretting those plans since it is harder to actually live through what you had in store for yourself as opposed to just theoretically thinking about it. We also know I am no fan of child abuse, or abuse of any kind, for that matter.

“My thing is, I also take your feelings personally due to how close we are. I’m not on par with your hatred, but I know it’s there. I love it when you use it for your creativity, but sometimes it just eats you up inside. When you start feeling like that, I want you to think of what’s happening to you right at this moment. The beautiful lad whose lap you’re in, and all you’ve done for each other. And me standing behind you…looking so much like the one you’re connected to, who helped bring you to the degree of power you have, in ways so few experience. Just remember right now, frozen in time, out of time. You can have this again and again, and the woman you used to bring you to us will never remotely have a clue that such a moment could exist, or that The Akashic Castle could exist, or our lovely Tech Duinn, or our part of The White City, or any of our adventures existed. She will know none of it, for I won’t let her.

“From the day that you sent your last letter as Kyle Shannon to be, you disappeared from her existence. When you are destined to meet again, the creature that was your mother will have blended with others, and will have lost that individual part of her identity, as you will have lost the individuality you have, now. Christl will never know any of this, and she will never see a trace of Donn’s book series, or any of our art, or the places we’ve been.” He scraped his teeth on the side of her neck. He had his fangs back, and he left a slight scratch, though he drew no blood. “And she’ll never know thisssssssssssssssssssss!” He gently entered her in what way was available, and after he was in place, he exploded us Tantrically in an unimaginable culmination.

We went from the spa straight to Nirvana to become one soul, for a while.

Stef...whatever gender it was or wasn’t, would have no further issues on the matter.

*****

After we came back to The Akashic Castle, another fifteen paintings would go up shortly.

The Coldest Dish

2010-10-31T23:49:00.000-07:00

This is really by Thanatos, but he doesn't have a blog and he told me to post it, so hey! It's an add on to my last story.

How you revel in your hatred
Of wrongs long gone since yesteryear.
You rage in hostile memories,
As from our wanted path, you veer.

You desire peace, but this ain't
The path to get it. Destruction's
Not the way to go, but hear me!
Direct, with no implications;

Let me remind you of what is.
You are with us, and they are not.
You share our art, and share our love.
You command our power and got

To experience what has been
Denied to all humanity.
Leave your past foes in ignorance,
And hold on to your sanity.

The great revenge of here that is,
Is exile from all you now know.
Leave them in their reality,
While you bask in perfection's glow.

Manx Factor

2010-10-31T23:47:00.000-07:00

Difference - 3152 Dollar amount - 1449.168

(.309 X A) + (.534 X B) = 1449.168
.534 - .309 = .225
.534 X 3152 = 1683.168
1683.168 - 1449.168 = 234
234 / .225 = 1040

A = 1040
3152 - 1040 = 2112
B = 2112

Yisser failte, but Oi don't tink you'll be needin' dis again while you're at wha you're at.

I Will Not Return From Whence I Came

2010-10-31T23:45:00.000-07:00

There is nothing left. Everything has been destroyed. Considering how it happened, I suppose I don't care very much. I saw it coming. You can't clean a place up and leave it to a bunch of hypocritical, lazy, power tripping, ideal-razing jerks who refuse to see the link between cause and effect.

I'll not condemn you if you played no part in the fall, though I do see there are not many of you.

Canna, Winna, Dinna. . .ARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHH

2010-10-31T23:40:00.000-07:00

Canny, cannae, can't, won't, willnae, 'ill not, wulnae, aye, ayuh, yes, och aye, roi, richt, reit, don't, dornt. . .GIT ME OYT AV 'ERE!!!! Or GIE ME IT AY HAUR!!!! An' waaat 'appened ter 'oot'?

Ye gods, Saxon, Celtophile brat! Git yisser dialects straight. Or are ye more comfortable wi' "Gie yer dialects straecht"???????????

GAE AWA'! SHOOT ME!!!!!!!!!!

DE ALOOF WAN SPEAKS

2010-10-31T23:39:00.000-07:00

What the Hell is wrong with you? I've got a right hand. A left too, for that matter; and I don't have to take it to a movie or take it out to dinner before making use of either. So if you don't mind. . .

Is that politically incorrect enough for ya?

(Bitch!)

Running On. . .

2010-10-31T23:38:00.000-07:00

Running on a promise, a warning, a threat, a gift, and a tested power. A very great power. If it is not taken away.

So near, yet so far.

Three years, and eight months. Will the caldera blow? Or something else? Two years. Will full retirement have to wait until then? Eleven months. Or then? Or will it be less time?

After all, what is left?

But self-imposed obligations that seem to be only an inconvenience.

Still. . .I wait.

Choose the battles wisely.

Heh-heh-heh. Or choose not to fight, for there is no need.

Let's Keep Our Victories To Ourselves

2010-10-31T23:37:00.000-07:00

Discretion's the better part of valour.
Now, ostentation may bring a pallor
To your life that's really better not there.
You must keep your temper if you dare
To keep me as your collaborator.
Let's you and me make sure there's a later
To enjoy for your ancient battles won.
Don't gloat too much, for you are not quite done.
When you are, you'll know; 'cause you'll be with me
In an exhaulted state. Your destiny

As we have willed, where all is art,
And art is all. . .for us!

Living Every Day Like It's Your Last

2010-10-31T23:36:00.000-07:00

It's what you're supposed to do, but so many societies try to make sure you don't. THINK OF THE FUTURE, DAMMIT! But for many, there is no future. Sometimes, things happen.

A house fire? Lose everything? That can slap one into the right perspective. So can living under siege. Or with a terminal disease, or failed crops when you have nowhere to go. And some can do it under conditions of incredible comfort, because they know the TRUTH. They are prepared for anything and everything with just a wee bit of knowledge. Life is temporary, and existence is eternal.

That's all you need to know. Stay detached. . .and stay prepared.

Ruing The Past Again

2010-10-31T23:33:00.000-07:00

I see you sit in contemplation.
You wonder what may have been that day
When you threw yourself into my realm,
If hatred hadn't got in the way.
Hatred not of me, but the concept
That I represented for my looks.
Close to the Nazi ideal I was,
Hence you curse your old biases' hooks.
Your irrationality's gone now,
For what image another presents.
You seethe, cursing your past programming,
And what history misrepresents
As written, and how you were twisted
In your way to reject ev'rything
That is held in esteem by the world.
That's not bad, when I check the briefing

Of what you've become;
Which is more like me.

(Hey! Generally 'bout half my hairs are blond, and the other half are light orange, OK? A few sandy ones here and there. I colour the hair sometimes for my cases, depending on what's necessary.)

All You Know Is Illusion

2010-10-31T23:31:00.000-07:00

You were born into a dream,
And one day you shall awake.
You'll laugh at the pain you feel
Right now, for your lesson's sake.
You'll cringe at your visions lost
In the great forgetfulness
In that thing that you call life,
Where you were wiped with less
Knowledge and sense than a beet;
To enter the Land of Nod,
Where the Truth is in exile,
And perception's a façade.
You exist where myth does rule,
And nothing is as it seems.
Priorities corrupted
Do bring forth some strange regimes.
Still, I would not fret so much.
I've let you ken it will end.
I've known you ere, know you now.
A glimpse of Truth I did bend
In your direction, dear lass;
Since you chose to live for me.
We'll meet for good, out of time;
For I am your destiny

When you're finally cured
Of ego's addiction this time 'round,
And you can stop missing me.

Waaat Is Wrong Witcha Idiots?!

2010-10-31T23:30:00.001-07:00

You're from a place. . .where lies can't be told, where only truth exists, where manifestation is instant, where there is a connexion to all, where you can travel at the speed of thought, where there is no time, where anything that can be imagined is, and where you have no limits. So you choose to come. . .there to live on Earth with limited access to truth, and where you totally forget what you are, and what you're capable of. Not only that, but you fight to stay there like your life, I mean your existence depended on it, and cling to your prison with more cohesion than a starving tick and Epoxy combined.

And you PROPOGATE THE MESS!!!!!!!! DELIBERATELY, FOR SOME OF YOU!

Aye, makes sense to me. NOT!!!!!! (Yer nu, Oi'm really beginnin' ter luk forward ter retirement in me auld age.)

Och, wa dae Ah bortha?! Yoo're aw beyond hiner. . .uh. . .'ope!

AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH! Oi want someone's noggin on a plate!!!!!!!!!!!! Got my mixin' dialects as bad as. . .oh, never mind!

Peace

2010-10-31T23:27:00.000-07:00

A little moment in paradise. Alone. Just to sit there in the dark, looking out the window with a cup of tay in hand, watching the rain come down. Not a care in the world. A purring cat in your lap. Why does anyone want more?! Why do so many go to so many extremes to complicate their lives as much as they can? Why do people go out of their way to make themselves as miserable as possible?

I used to, but I can't identify with that any more. I wonder if I was what I was due to my former intrinsic nature, or due to external programming? Probably a combination of both.

Stupidity and youth do seem to go hand in hand. It generally takes time to find yourself again after being wiped clean. Some never do. I wish I could say it wasn't my problem, but people are so good at making themselves other people's problems. I guess it's in the job description.

Damaged Goods

2010-10-31T23:24:00.001-07:00

Best avoided, really. They can be quite distrustful, and just short of impossible to win over. Due to past betrayals, many have a wall up that's a parsec high, a parsec thick, and you might as well try to break it down with a rubber mallet and calibrating screwdriver. They're occasionally terrified of needing anyone or anything, and that makes for some strange behaviour patterns. They can be colder than helium slush, and quite vicious in defending their independence. Can one find anything more selfish? More self-sequestered in every way possible? A more uncompromising shoite? Someone whose threats you better take seriously, be they direct or veiled?

Why did I write this?

I don't think I wanna tell ya.

Rage Untamed

2010-10-31T23:24:00.000-07:00

If you were like me right now,
A galaxy would explode.
I'm surprised your memories
Don't make your damn head corrode.
Contracts that were due, now done;
Were what you once agreed with
To get you to where you're now,
This land; oft passed off as myth.
Calm down, for all that happened
Was required for our cause.
Since when was life e'er pain free?
Give your boiling blood a pause!
Your past foes were the moulders
Of your creativity.
Indeed, your foes were your friends
For bringing you back to me.
How oft must I explain this?
Their price is high for their role,
As was the cost of your past.
Come out of your black hole.
Look around, where you are now.
'Dude', it really was worthwhile.
All is at your fingertips
That will cater to your style,
And gone are those, you revile.
Forget them. Let them not rile
Your peace or what did beguile
You to my beloved isle.

A Consideration

2010-10-31T23:22:00.000-07:00

What is better? To pay for the future with a past, or to pay for the past with a future? Or change 'to pay' to 'to get rewarded'. THINK ABOUT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

WILL I EVER GET THROUGH ON THIS SUBJECT??????!!!!!!!!!!

How Much?

2010-10-31T23:20:00.001-07:00

How much time? How much frustration? How much work? How much pain? And what's worth more? What has been done, or what can be done that I refuse?

Stupid question, The answer is known.

Was it volunteered? If so, why? Love? Mercenary reasons? Obligation? All of the above? What else is there to do? What's next?

I don't even know what I am. I do know I am a part of something greater, of ultimately there is only one, as was before, but I know so little of what is in between. So many questions with such illusive answers.

And the most pertinent question of all. Do I have a camera?!

Heh-heh-heh. Maybe. Black and white. . .and red. Some should be done in colour, if. . .

The gold and silver one should be shown in full glory.

**************************************************************************

What would be, if you were like me?!

Just another story.

No Duhhhhhhhhhh

2010-10-31T23:20:00.000-07:00

http://www.rys2sense.com/anti-neocons/viewtopic.php?f=21&t=163

An explanation of how fucked up a society the world is. Status conscious materialistic fools who judge not themselves or others by their accomplishments, but by what they own.

Huh! Not that anyone owns anything. It's all borrowed real estate, dudes. It's not just the Western world. It's EVERBODY. After the non-industrialised world sees the industrialised world, everyone wants in.

How Nice If You're. . .

2010-10-31T23:19:00.000-07:00

Riding home the last kilometre of the birch forest before you get to your winter cottage with attached stable in the light snow. You put your pony up, clean his hooves, wipe and brush him off, and find you've been expected. You walk into the living room direct from the stable, and close the half door that separates the partitions. The fire's high, and a kettle's turned out on the fireplace crane. A thick, cream of mushroom soup with garlic and scallions, from what you can smell. Tay pot on the table with three empty cups and place settings waiting. Just as you hang your cloak, the other two members of your household come into the room; one carrying a tray of buttered bread, and the other a heavily ladden plate of various cheeses and dried fruit. They put it on the table, pour tay for themselves and you, and sit down after they get their soup. You smile as you raise your cup to them, before filling your own bowl.

All we couldn't eat, my equine friend would get after dinner.

(Please pardon the babbling, but I wish it could so be. . .NOW!)

Focus

2010-10-31T23:14:00.000-07:00

To see one is slaving over a desk for you, worshipping you with graphite or pen in word or picture. To lock eyes, and just know. . . A finger caressed down a cheek, or a hand run through the hair. A call to an intricate meal you had no idea was coming. A flask of attar waved under your nose, with a promise. To be so aware of an appreciation so powerful, where there is no cause to focus on one's own sensations that have nothing to do with 'other'. To see the tears of having been missed. To be invited into the sweetest embrace.

A contemplation so rare in actuality. How many of the Tuatha de Danaan sit down, and really think of this? Or how many of the mortal flotsam that make up humanity?

For most it's fiction. A thing of dreams. It's in books, cinema, plays, operas, ice dances, but no part of reality. Oh, there are exceptions, but how rare to understand the entire feeling or motivation of the instigator. And how many instigatees care enough to truly reciprocate? And what was the motivation of the original move?

Was it conditional? Was something expected? If so, that debases the moment to nothing.

So why did it all happen, it is wondered. Payback for something too good to be true for it has not been experienced in memory? The unconditional? Infatuation? A desire to harness power greater than can be dreamed of? All of the above?

I know the answer, and I instigated it. It is not entirely honourable. But perhaps, neither am I. It seems I'm not above using circumstances for my better end. Yet some things must be done, come Hell or high water; as they say. If the boot fits. . .

The rest can be ironed out later. As the journey toward perfection progresses. . .

As the promise and the warning previously mentioned are heeded. As true peace is found in the knowledge that what is, is out of time and eternal, and cannot be changed.

And this time, there will be balance. No more tryin' for Karmic vacuums. All will be like an equilateral triangle. No resentment, no expectations, no nothing. One for all, and all for one; like what Alex Dumas said. Nothing will be as it was, and all will flow without any blockages up ahead.

If yer even 'av any idea waaat de feck Oi'm blatherin' aboyt, not dat Oi gie a flyin' shoite.

Just Follow The Script

2010-10-31T23:09:00.000-07:00

Do what you gotta do to get to where you're going, dragging your chains; even though you don't have to, for your own peace of mind. Damn, doesn't that sound like just more slavery? But the apprenticeship following the present gig is gonna be a bit harder, and isn't that like. . .um. . .indentured servitude? You gotta be a page to be a knight sort of thing?

Such is life, such is death.

No escaping some things.

Can we say "Shoite on a steck"?

But hey! Maybe, just perhaps the view of the city below being blown up can be seen from a mountain top between now and then? Good analogy, though it may be close to the truth.

Ah, yes. More incoherent babbling. Well, if you knew me, you'd know damn well what I'm talking about, but you don't; and you aren't going to, so never mind.

I Was Asked A Question

2010-10-31T23:08:00.000-07:00

What is the point of anything, when you know everything? Uh, ask The Source, huh? How about CREATIVITY?!!!!!!! Art! Devoting eternity to making beautiful things? Perhaps sharing some of that knowledge if you have a mind to? Using that knowledge to glue everything back together again?

Sometimes having to learn something gets it the way. It's a distraction, compared to already knowing what you have to learn. And speaking of distractions. . .there are so many of them, that it becomes quite annoying. All these little ratchets getting in the way of personal quests.

Personal quests. . .shared. Repairing damage done in the past, and making sure it never happens again. Long, painful quests to rebuild what was ripped asunder for the stupidest reasons. . .namely ego. Wars lost, battles won, truces made, alliances rebuilt. Alliances that shall never come apart again. Ruins razed to the ground to be replaced by a magnificence that will never fall.

For no one but a very select few will know what is there.

Personal Sovereignty

2010-10-31T23:06:00.000-07:00

It can only be had if one is alone, and no one knows what that one is doing. Is it worth it? Sometimes I think so, but the circumstances don't always allow it. On the other hand, sometimes I think not. I'm indecisive that way.

This is a paradoxical topic. It's nice never having to compromise yourself in the slightest, but sometimes circumstances compel you to do that. There are things you can't walk away from, and still sleep easy at night.

That brings up the question: To whom do I owe myself? No one, yet everyone? What is to prevent me from cutting off all means of communication, and never leaving these walls again? Or my land, at least. I do like playing outside.

I think I'll be obnoxious, and lay off here. It's not a question I can answer. Any answer would be speculation, no?

December, 2010

2010-10-31T23:04:00.000-07:00

So cowl, so damn cowl!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely freezin'! Snow, ice, not goin' away real soon. Hell hath arrived due to a ruthlessly slaughtered gulf stream, brought to us by 'Genocide Unlimited'. You know who you are!

This cold. Something to use. I wrote enough about it. Go out, run around in it a bit, whilst a tad underdressed (Shorts, socks and running shoes?), come back and what? Sit immediately by the fire after puttin' the tay on, or fill the underground tub?

Ah, fill the tub. Forget the tay. Get out of the wet clothes, go to the kitchen, fill up a tanker with ice, lemonade, take it with you, and slowly enter the tub as you finish the tanker before you're even half-way submerged.

I used to think individuals who did things like that were nuts. I suppose I still do, but now I was one of them. Then again, if I'd wanted to remain sane, I would have chosen to be born a cat.

I Remember The Demiurge

2010-10-31T23:02:00.000-07:00

And because of this, I completely, totally, all the way, realise I am my own prisoner; along with those few who have decided to join me on my quest. I have a job to do, and after it is done; I will saw those chains off of myself that I personally have placed there.

The cornerstone of my project is laid, the foundation is built. After all is complete, I will cease doing stupid things. . .I think.

Objectification

2010-10-31T23:00:00.001-07:00

I don't like it. I try not to do it, but I have to put up with it. Sometimes it's a despised tool to use to intitially get through to someone, but at least it doesn't last.

Thank the gods. I don't appreciate being appreciated for the wrong reasons. At least it's no longer an issue with those closest to me.

Well, not usually, anyway. Sometimes it's annoying to have an audience for some of my hobbies. Especially when you can't outrun one of them.

Gods, I can't believe I posted this.

How Nice To Be In A Position To Say. . .

2010-10-31T22:59:00.001-07:00

I play my way, or I don't play at all; and really mean it. How nice to be able to tell the world that, and also to know that anyone can have that power IF they have the right priorities.

But apparently servitude is more important to people than freedom.

On the other hand, who am I to talk? After all, I must confess to being chained and bound. It may not seem like it at first glance, but I have placed myself under obligation. Yet I knew what I was doing, why, and I also know it won't last forever. Well, unless I want it to.

On occasion some trade-offs and compromises are definitely worth it. ;^) Until I change my mind.

There Is Something I Really Hate

2010-10-31T22:59:00.000-07:00

It's when people go after you not because of who you are, but because of WHAT you are. They want an image, not a soul.

Oh, I already covered this in my objectification post, huh?

Anyway, it generally doesn't work. Who can live up to that image? It's like idolising an actor for what he or she plays in the cinema. It's silly. One is a fictional representation from someones' mind, and the other is a real, flawed, whatever. An idealised paragon verses reality. But people do it all the time.

Sometimes people are so damn tenacious in refusing to give up their illusions, it's insane. The one on the pedestal has to crash pretty hard, and then the one who put him or her there ends up loathing the fallen idol for no fault of their own. I've seen it happen so many times, I lost count.

Have I done it?

Uh, don't I have a right to remain silent?

Or am I in the right country for that?

I Love The Rain

2010-10-31T22:58:00.000-07:00

The harder, the better. To sit by the window, hearing the water smashing against the glass, or to watch it hit the puddles, or listen to it hit a thinner part of the roof. To sit out in one of the verandahs, with a blanket wrapped around you, holding a cup of tay. To light the incense, just lay back on the bed, close your eyes, and be hypnotised by that sound. . .and for a while go to where it never ends.

Ah yes! Freshly cleaned off, laying on satin, under warm covers, listing to the wind lashing outside, the torrents crashin' down. A cat on top of you, or snuggled at your side; would be nice. Come to think of it, so would be a back-rub by someone who really knew what they were doing, and could put you to sleep with their touch. Throw in a scented oil, while we're at it.

I think I'll sign off now. I'm kind of tired, anyway.

Hurry Up And Wait

2010-10-31T22:57:00.000-07:00

Things take long, oh so long. They're drawn out to unfathomable degrees. So many set-backs, so many problems. Why? What is it that must be seen? What must be waited for, and cannot be missed under any circumstances? Why must patience be stretched to almost the point of breakage? Why can't everyone be on the same page?

Such is life, for the umpteenth time.

THIS IS A TEST. THIS IS ONLY A TEST. IF THIS WERE A REAL EMERGENCY. . .

2010-10-31T22:56:00.000-07:00

HAARP, bomb, terrorist, IRS, tax evasion, FBI, tax avoidance, gaol, I mean jail break (I swear, you Yanks drive me nuts with your spelling. Been on your side of The Pond so long, even I can't remember what's what some times.), TNT, World Trade Centre, Truthers, Tea Party, Animal Rights, Green Peace, drug deal, drug bust, revolution, Echelon, oh why don't I just copy/paste a whole bleedin' page.

*********************************************

Rewson, SAFE, Waihopai, INFOSEC, ASPIC, MI6, Information Security, SAI, Information Warfare, IW, IS, Privacy, Information Terrorism, Terrorism
Defensive Information, Defense Information Warfare, Offensive Information, Offensive Information Warfare, The Artful Dodger, NAIA, SAPM, ASU, ASTS,
National Information Infrastructure, InfoSec, SAO, Reno, Compsec, JICS,
Computer Terrorism, Firewalls, Secure Internet Connections, RSP, ISS, JDF,
Ermes, Passwords, NAAP, DefCon V, RSO, Hackers, Encryption, ASWS, CUN, CISU,
CUSI, M.A.R.E., MARE, UFO, IFO, Pacini, Angela, Espionage, USDOJ, NSA, CIA,
S/Key, SSL, FBI, Secert Service, USSS, Defcon, Military, White House,
Undercover, NCCS, Mayfly, PGP, SALDV, PEM, resta, RSA, Perl-RSA, MSNBC, bet,
AOL, AOL TOS, CIS, CBOT, AIMSX, STARLAN, 3B2, BITNET, SAMU, COSMOS, DATTA,
Furbys, E911, FCIC, HTCIA, IACIS, UT/RUS, JANET, ram, JICC, ReMOB, LEETAC,
UTU, VNET, BRLO, SADCC, NSLEP, SACLANTCEN, FALN, 877, NAVELEXSYSSECENGCEN,
BZ, CANSLO, CBNRC, CIDA, JAVA, rsta, Active X, Compsec 97, RENS, LLC, DERA,
JIC, rip, rb, Wu, RDI, Mavricks, BIOL, Meta-hackers, ^?, SADT, Steve Case,
Tools, RECCEX, Telex, Aldergrove, OTAN, monarchist, NMIC, NIOG, IDB, MID/KL,
NADIS, NMI, SEIDM, BNC, CNCIS, STEEPLEBUSH, RG, BSS, DDIS, mixmaster, BCCI,
BRGE, Europol, SARL, Military Intelligence, JICA, Scully, recondo, Flame,
Infowar, FRU, Bubba, Freeh, Archives, ISADC, CISSP, Sundevil, jack,
Investigation, JOTS, ISACA, NCSA, ASVC, spook words, RRF, 1071, Bugs Bunny,
Verisign, Secure, ASIO, Lebed, ICE, NRO, Lexis-Nexis, NSCT, SCIF, FLiR, JIC,
bce, Lacrosse, Flashbangs, HRT, IRA, EODG, DIA, USCOI, CID, BOP, FINCEN,
FLETC, NIJ, ACC, AFSPC, BMDO, site, SASSTIXS, NAVWAN, NRL, RL, NAVWCWPNS,
NSWC, USAFA, AHPCRC, ARPA, SARD, LABLINK, USACIL, SAPT, USCG, NRC, ~, O,
NSA/CSS, CDC, DOE, SAAM, FMS, HPCC, NTIS, SEL, USCODE, CISE, SIRC, CIM, ISN,
DJC, LLNL, bemd, SGC, UNCPCJ, CFC, SABENA, DREO, CDA, SADRS, DRA, SHAPE,
bird dog, SACLANT, BECCA, DCJFTF, HALO, SC, TA SAS, Lander, GSM, T Branch,
AST, SAMCOMM, HAHO, FKS, 868, GCHQ, DITSA, SORT, AMEMB, NSG, HIC, EDI,
benelux, SAS, SBS, SAW, UDT, EODC, GOE, DOE, SAMF, GEO, JRB, 3P-HV, Masuda,
Forte, AT, GIGN, Exon Shell, radint, MB, CQB, TECS, CONUS, CTU, RCMP, GRU,
SASR, GSG-9, 22nd SAS, GEOS, EADA, SART, BBE, STEP, Echelon, Dictionary,
MD2, MD4, MDA, diwn, 747, ASIC, 777, RDI, 767, MI5, 737, MI6, 757, Kh-11,
EODN, SHS, ^X, Shayet-13, SADMS, Spetznaz, Recce, 707, CIO, NOCS, Halcon,
NSS, Duress, RAID, Uziel, wojo, Psyops, SASCOM, grom, NSIRL, D-11, DF, ZARK,
SERT, VIP, ARC, S.E.T. Team, NSWG, MP5k, SATKA, DREC, DEVGRP, DSD, FDM, GRU,
LRTS, SIGDEV, NACSI, MEU/SOC,PSAC, PTT, RFI, ZL31, SIGDASYS, TDM. SUKLO,
Schengen, SUSLO, TELINT, fake, TEXTA. ELF, LF, MF, Mafia, JASSM, CALCM,
TLAM, Wipeout, GII, SIW, MEII, C2W, Burns, Tomlinson, Ufologico Nazionale,
Centro, CICAP, MIR, Belknap, Tac, rebels, BLU-97 A/B, 007, nowhere.ch,
bronze, Rubin, Arnett, BLU, SIGS, VHF, Recon, peapod, PA598D28, Spall, dort,
50MZ, 11Emc Choe, SATCOMA, UHF, The Hague, SHF, ASIO, SASP, WANK, Colonel,
domestic disruption, 5ESS, smuggle, Z-200, 15kg, DUVDEVAN, RFX, nitrate,
OIR, Pretoria, M-14, enigma, Bletchley Park, Clandestine, NSO, nkvd, argus,
afsatcom, CQB, NVD, Counter Terrorism Security, Enemy of the State, SARA,
Rapid Reaction, JSOFC3IP, Corporate Security, 192.47.242.7, Baldwin, Wilma,
ie.org, cospo.osis.gov, Police, Dateline, Tyrell, KMI, 1ee, Pod, 9705
Samford Road, 20755-6000, sniper, PPS, ASIS, ASLET, TSCM, Security
Consulting, M-x spook, Z-150T, Steak Knife, High Security, Security
Evaluation, Electronic Surveillance, MI-17, ISR, NSAS, Counterterrorism,
real, spies, IWO, eavesdropping, debugging, CCSS, interception, COCOT,
NACSI, rhost, rhosts, ASO, SETA, Amherst, Broadside, Capricorn, NAVCM,
Gamma, Gorizont, Guppy, NSS, rita, ISSO, submiss, ASDIC, .tc, 2EME REP, FID,
7NL SBS, tekka, captain, 226, .45, nonac, .li, Tony Poe, MJ-12, JASON,
Society, Hmong, Majic, evil, zipgun, tax, bootleg, warez, TRV, ERV,
rednoise, mindwar, nailbomb, VLF, ULF, Paperclip, Chatter, MKULTRA, MKDELTA,
Bluebird, MKNAOMI, White Yankee, MKSEARCH, 355 ML, Adriatic, Goldman,
Ionosphere, Mole, Keyhole, NABS, Kilderkin, Artichoke, Badger, Emerson,
Tzvrif, SDIS, T2S2, STTC, DNR, NADDIS, NFLIS, CFD, BLU-114/B, quarter,
Cornflower, Daisy, Egret, Iris, JSOTF, Hollyhock, Jasmine, Juile, Vinnell,
B.D.M., Sphinx, Stephanie, Reflection, Spoke, Talent, Trump, FX, FXR, IMF,
POCSAG, rusers, Covert Video, Intiso, r00t, lock picking, Beyond Hope,
LASINT, csystems, .tm, passwd, 2600 Magazine, JUWTF, Competitor, EO, Chan,
Pathfinders, SEAL Team 3, JTF, Nash, ISSAA, B61-11, Alouette, executive,
Event Security, Mace, Cap-Stun, stakeout, ninja, ASIS, ISA, EOD, Oscor,
Tarawa, COSMOS-2224, COSTIND, hit word, hitword, Hitwords, Regli, VBS,
Leuken-Baden, number key, Zimmerwald, DDPS, GRS, AGT. AMME, ANDVT, Type I,
Type II, VFCT, VGPL, WHCA, WSA, WSP, WWABNCP, ZNI1, FSK, FTS2000, GOSIP,
GOTS, SACS STU-III, PRF, PMSP, PCMT, I&A, JRSC, ITSDN, Keyer, KG-84C,
KWT-46, KWR-46, KY-75, KYV-5, LHR, PARKHILL, LDMX, LEASAT, SNS, SVN, TACSAT,
TRANSEC, DONCAF, EAM, DSCS, DSNET1, DSNET2, DSNET3, ECCM, EIP, EKMS, EKMC,
DDN, DDP, Merlin, NTT, SL-1, Rolm, TIE, Tie-fighter, PBX, SLI, NTT, MSCJ,
MIT, 69, RIT, Time, MSEE, Cable & Wireless, CSE, SUW, J2, Embassy, ETA,
Porno, Fax, finks, Fax encryption, white noise, Fernspah, MYK, GAFE,
forcast, import, rain, tiger, buzzer, N9, pink noise, CRA, M.P.R.I., top
secret, Mossberg, 50BMG, Macintosh Security, Macintosh Internet Security,
OC3, Macintosh Firewalls, Unix Security, VIP Protection, SIG, sweep, Medco,
TRD, TDR, Z, sweeping, SURSAT, 5926, TELINT, Audiotel, Harvard, 1080H, SWS,
Asset, Satellite imagery, force, NAIAG, Cypherpunks, NARF, 127, Coderpunks,
TRW, remailers, replay, redheads, RX-7, explicit, FLAME, J-6, Pornstars,
AVN, Playboy, ISSSP, Anonymous, W, Sex, chaining, codes, Nuclear, 20,
subversives, SLIP, toad, fish, data havens, unix, c, a, b, d, SUBACS, the,
Elvis, quiche, DES, 1*, N-ISDN, NLSP, OTAR, OTAT, OTCIXS, MISSI, MOSAIC,
NAVCOMPARS, NCTS, NESP, MILSATCOM, AUTODIN, BLACKER, C3I, C4I, CMS, CMW, CP,
SBU, SCCN, SITOR, SHF/DOD, Finksburg MD, Link 16, LATA, NATIA, NATOA,
sneakers, UXO, (), OC-12, counterintelligence, Shaldag, sport, NASA, TWA,
DT, gtegsc, nowhere, .ch, hope, emc, industrial espionage, SUPIR, PI, TSCI,
spookwords, industrial intelligence, H.N.P., SUAEWICS, Juiliett Class
Submarine, Locks, qrss, loch, 64 Vauxhall Cross, Ingram Mac-10, wwics,
sigvoice, ssa, E.O.D., SEMTEX, penrep, racal, OTP, OSS, Siemens, RPC, Met,
CIA-DST, INI, watchers, keebler, contacts, Blowpipe, BTM, CCS, GSA, Kilo
Class, squib, primacord, RSP, Z7, Becker, Nerd, fangs, Austin, no|d,
Comirex, GPMG, Speakeasy, humint, GEODSS, SORO, M5, BROMURE, ANC, zone, SBI,
DSS, S.A.I.C., Minox, Keyhole, SAR, Rand Corporation, Starr, Wackenhutt, EO,
burhop, Wackendude, mol, Shelton, 2E781, F-22, 2010, JCET, cocaine, Vale,
IG, Kosovo, Dake, 36,800, Hillal, Pesec, Hindawi, GGL, NAICC, CTU, botux,
Virii, CCC, ISPE, CCSC, Scud, SecDef, Magdeyev, VOA, Kosiura, Small Pox,
Tajik, +=, Blacklisted 411, TRDL, Internet Underground, BX, XS4ALL, wetsu,
muezzin, Retinal Fetish, WIR, Fetish, FCA, Yobie, forschung, emm, ANZUS,
Reprieve, NZC-332, edition, cards, mania, 701, CTP, CATO, Phon-e, Chicago
Posse, NSDM, l0ck, beanpole, spook, keywords, QRR, PLA, TDYC, W3, CUD, CdC,
Weekly World News, Zen, World Domination, Dead, GRU, M72750, Salsa, 7,
Blowfish, Gorelick, Glock, Ft. Meade, NSWT, press-release, WISDIM, burned,
Indigo, wire transfer, e-cash, Bubba the Love Sponge, Enforcers, Digicash,
zip, SWAT, Ortega, PPP, NACSE, crypto-anarchy, AT&T, SGI, SUN, MCI,
Blacknet, ISM, JCE, Middleman, KLM, Blackbird, NSV, GQ360, X400, Texas,
jihad, SDI, BRIGAND, Uzi, Fort Meade, *&, gchq.gov.uk, supercomputer,
bullion, 3, NTTC, Blackmednet, :, Propaganda, ABC, Satellite phones, IWIS,
Planet-1, ISTA, rs9512c, Jiang Zemin, South Africa, Sergeyev, Montenegro,
Toeffler, Rebollo, sorot, Yucca Mountain, FARC, Toth, Xu Yongyue, Bach,
Razor, AC, cryptanalysis, nuclear, 52 52 N - 03 03 W, Morgan, Canine, GEBA,
INSCOM, MEMEX, Stanley, FBI, Panama, fissionable, Sears Tower, NORAD, Delta
Force, SEAL, virtual, WASS, WID, Dolch, secure shell, screws, Black-Ops,
O/S, Area51, SABC, basement, ISWG, $@, data-haven, NSDD, black-bag, rack,
TEMPEST, Goodwin, rebels, ID, MD5, IDEA, garbage, market, beef, Stego, ISAF,
unclassified, Sayeret Tzanhanim, PARASAR, Gripan, pirg, curly, Taiwan,
guest, utopia, NSG, orthodox, CCSQ, Alica, SHA, Global, gorilla, Bob,
UNSCOM, Fukuyama, Manfurov, Kvashnin, Marx, Abdurahmon, snullen, Pseudonyms,
MITM, NARF, Gray Data, VLSI, mega, Leitrim, Yakima, NSES, Sugar Grove, WAS,
Cowboy, Gist, 8182, Gatt, Platform, 1911, Geraldton, UKUSA, veggie, XM,
Parvus, NAVSVS, 3848, Morwenstow, Consul, Oratory, Pine Gap, Menwith,
Mantis, DSD, BVD, 1984, blow out, BUDS, WQC, Flintlock, PABX, Electron,
Chicago Crust, e95, DDR&E, 3M, KEDO, iButton, R1, erco, Toffler, FAS, RHL,
K3, Visa/BCC, SNT, Ceridian, STE, condor, CipherTAC-2000, Etacs, Shipiro,
ssor, piz, fritz, KY, 32, Edens, Kiwis, Kamumaruha, DODIG, Firefly, HRM,
Albright, Bellcore, rail, csim, NMS, 2c, FIPS140-1, CAVE, E-Bomb, CDMA,
Fortezza, 355ml, ISSC, cybercash, NAWAS, government, NSY, hate, speedbump,
joe, illuminati, BOSS, Kourou, Misawa, Morse, HF, P415, ladylove, filofax,
Gulf, lamma, Unit 5707, Sayeret Mat'Kal, Unit 669, Sayeret Golani, Lanceros,
Summercon, NSADS, president, ISFR, freedom, ISSO, walburn, Defcon VI, DC6,
Larson, P99, HERF pipe-bomb, 2.3 Oz., cocaine, $, imapct, Roswell, ESN, COS,
E.T., credit card, b9, fraud, ST1, assasinate, virus, ISCS, ISPR, anarchy,
rogue, mailbomb, 888, Chelsea, 1997, Whitewater, MOD, York, plutonium,
William Gates, clone, BATF, SGDN, Nike, WWSV, Atlas, IWWSVCS, Delta, TWA,
Kiwi, PGP 2.6.2., PGP 5.0i, PGP 5.1, siliconpimp, SASSTIXS, IWG, Lynch, 414,
Face, Pixar, IRIDF, NSRB, eternity server, Skytel, Yukon, Templeton,
Johohonbu, LUK, Cohiba, Soros, Standford, niche, ISEP, ISEC, 51, H&K, USP,
^, sardine, bank, EUB, USP, PCS, NRO, Red Cell, NSOF, DC7, Glock 26,
snuffle, Patel, package, ISI, INR, INS, GRU, RUOP, GSS, NSP, SRI, Ronco,
Armani, BOSS, Chobetsu, FBIS, BND, SISDE, FSB, BfV, IB, froglegs, JITEM,
SADF, advise, TUSA, LITE, PKK, HoHoCon, SISMI, ISG, FIS, MSW, Spyderco, UOP,
SSCI, NIMA, HAMASMOIS, SVR, SIN, advisors, SAP, Monica, OAU, PFS, Aladdin,
AG, chameleon man, Hutsul, CESID, Bess, rail gun, .375, Peering, CSC,
Tangimoana Beach, Commecen, Vanuatu, Kwajalein, LHI, DRM, GSGI, DST, MITI,
JERTO, SDF, Koancho, Blenheim, Rivera, Kyudanki, varon, 310, 17, 312, NB,
CBM, CTP, Sardine, SBIRS, jaws, SGDN, ADIU, DEADBEEF, IDP, IDF, Halibut,
SONANGOL, Flu, &, Loin, PGP 5.53, meta, Faber, SFPD, EG&G, ISEP, blackjack,
Fox, Aum, AIEWS, AMW, RHL, Baranyi, WORM, MP5K-SD, 1071, WINGS, cdi, VIA,
DynCorp, UXO, Ti, WWSP, WID, osco, Mary, honor, Templar, THAAD, package,
CISD, ISG, BIOLWPN, JRA, ISB, ISDS, chosen, LBSD, van, schloss, secops,
DCSS, DPSD, LIF, J-Star, PRIME, SURVIAC, telex, Analyzer, embassy, Golf,
B61-7, Maple, Tokyo, ERR, SBU, Threat, JPL, Tess, SE, Alex, EPL, SPINTCOM,
FOUO, ISS-ADP, Merv, Mexico, SUR, blocks, SO13, Rojdykarna, RSOC, USS
Banner, S511, 20755, airframe, jya.com, Furby, PECSENC, football, Agfa,
3210, Crowell, moore, 510, OADR, Smith, toffee, FIS, N5P6, EuroFed, SP4,
shelter, Crypto AG Croatian nuclear FBI colonel plutonium Ortega Waco, Texas
Panama CIA DES jihad fissionable quiche terrorist World Trade Center
assassination DES NORAD Delta Force Waco, Texas SDI explosion Serbian Panama
Uzi Ft. Meade SEAL Team 6 Honduras PLO NSA terrorist Ft. Meade strategic
supercomputer $400 million in gold bullion quiche Honduras BATF colonel
Treasury domestic disruption SEAL Team 6 class struggle smuggle M55 M51
Physical Security Division Room 2A0120, OPS 2A building 688-6911(b),
963-3371(s). Security Awareness Division (M56) Field Security Division (M52)
Al Amn al-Askari Supreme Assembly of the Islamic Revolution in Iraq (SAIRI)
Binnenlandse Veiligheidsdienst Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti
Federalnaia sluzhba besopasnosti GCHQ MI5

Deleted that last one, 'cause it might just get me in a wee bit o' trouble if I don't get enough warnin', but here's the link if ya wanna nu what it be:

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/05/31/what_are_those_words/

Scroll down a touch. I'm just checkin' to see that if I'm gonna get a couple o' thousand hits fer doin' this, so I can talk about it and laugh me bluidy heid aff!

Och! Gaen Scotty again. I swear, I think I'm losin' myself.

Oh, and I was informed that I forgot one! "sbwy bmb tmr set 4 Xmas eve Allah B gr8".

As if! Shoot me ifn e'er I become a fan of the 'big three'. Take a flame thrower to me, e'en! Gods, those religions have caused so many problems, and still do.

Och, I HATE this post. Everybody comes to this piece of shoite, and the only reason I put it up was to see if I could provoke some interest from the powers that think they are. Suppose it's good I didn't. Now the paper tiger who no one listens to can continue on with it's literary art, his philosphical rants, and whatever else, unmolested for a while longer.

Some. . .

2010-10-31T22:55:00.001-07:00

Some NEVER adjust to life. They remember glimpses of before, and just can't make the transformation. They remember the unity, the honesty, the love, the instant manifestation, the BEING there. And then they are thought a tad off when they get older, and they have the tendency to stick with what was beat out of 'em as they go into shock and never quite recover, as they long more and more for where they came from.

Sometimes they try to come back before their self-imposed term, task or lesson is up. They have to be stopped an persuaded to go back and do otherwise. Sometimes it can be done, sometimes not. Sometimes they remember too much, and they will do what they have to do; but in abject misery. Especially when they remember The Way, which their 'rescuer' or attempted 'rescuer' shows them. A glimpse of the ultimate, unconditional, spiritual love in a mind-share; sans any physical show other than perhaps an embrace.

The ultimate high? The ultimate quest, to know that again. To be in that state, perpetually? So addictive, but it can't be done but in very rare moments with those not here, or they might not survive the week. But the knowing that it is there. . .one day. . .after the pain stops. . .

Is this knowledge a blessing, or a curse? Would it be better to not bother with places you don't live, and the inhabitants of those places?

I think so, on occasion. One day soon, it shall be so.

If Everyone Knew The Truth About Existence As A Whole. . .

2010-10-31T22:51:00.000-07:00

Procreation would be a crime, or frowned upon; to say the least. The Cathars did have that right, along with a ton of other beliefs; but of course the Catholic Church couldn't have them and their way intruding on their parasitic economics. I'll NEVER forgive the Church or Rome for what they did to the Albigensian, or what was done to my. . .uh. . .um. . .the Milesians.

I myself would consider life not a gift or a blessing, but more a curse and sign of stupidity, for it is asked for prior to being alive. Aye, I'm guilty and also worthy of mine own condemnation. However, we must remember! Life is a lot easier when you're not living it. That's a quote from my series somewhere, more than once; if my memory serves me.

Ahhhhhhh. . .To Know So Much. . .To Play So Many Roles. . .

2010-10-31T22:49:00.000-07:00

Protector, protected. . .teacher, student. . .conqueror, conquered. . .decider, passive. . .rescuer, knowing someone can back me up when I can't. . .tour guide, tourist. . .mentor, protégé. . .artist, sitter. . .architect, landscaper, poet, painter, philosopher, rider, skater, rug-cutter. . .arrogant, sarcastic asshole. . .sandwich fillin'. . .oh, is there anything I can't do?

Win an argument with a CAT!!!!!!!! And whilst I can do it, cookin's not exactly my forté. One more thing! If you ever wanna talk to me again, DON'T ASK ME TO PLAY CHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gods, if I e'er see wan o' those boards again!!!!!!!!!

To My Readers

2010-10-31T22:46:00.000-07:00

Again, if you like anything on this blog, or want the e-book, feel free to copy/paste to your own personal files all 15 sections. It's not the best thing, there are still mistakes for I am not a professional editor, and currently only having a U.S. spellcheck that 'corrects' PROPER Commonwealth spelling (I transferred from Microsoft Works) didn't help me one bit. This blog and everything on it may be here for a long time, or maybe not. Perhaps the web will be compromised soon, perhaps not. Who knows, but if you like my work, it's yours for the taking. I have everything I require, and why want more? And you can share, too; if you think it's worth it. After all, all it's cost me is time. Why should it cost anyone else, anything else? Note blog is not monetised, and it never will be; if I have any say.

I want this free to all who need or want it for however long this can be, considering the circumstances of the world. Life would be better without a monetary economy, anyway. Countless civilisations have proven this in the past, and hopefully that way of life will return soon.

The Psychology Of Humanity Amazes Me To No End

2010-10-31T22:42:00.000-07:00

I put up a potentially provocative post, copy/pasting a section of a page of 'trigger' words, wondering if I'd get a bunch of hits from the alphabet soup agencies that make up the government. Well, I'm getting hits all right, but I don't think it's from the government. I may have to wait another day for that. It is a rather uninteresting post, really. Completely pointless, for general reading; yet that's what people go to due to the title, I suppose. Then that's all they check out.

There was another time, on a forum I'd quite long ago, where I put up a link to various execution and torture techniques, and that's how I identified it in the link. It got hits in the triple digits, whilst my literary art got not quite completely ignored. Now if I put these links on torture techniques up again, I'm probably going to get a couple of hundred hits in one day, right?

I still have a little bit of clean-up to do, but after I'm done; it is tempting to go and sequester (Yes, that's proper Commonwealth spelling, as far as you clueless Yanks are concerned. 'Sequestre' is French, and it's actually 'séquestre'.) myself in a cave somewhere, and not come out again. But that is a bit boring, and I must admit the general company I keep of varying species does make existence worthwhile.

Now, shall I prove my theory and put up links for the vilest execution and torture techniques? Oh, I just might. Later. Now, I'm wondering if any more riots are starting anywhere else against the everso unfair status quo, where those who think they are in charge are trying to milk the peasants of what they don't have.

Well, the trip-reset to the new era is well underway. It's always so damn messy. And it always happens again, and again. I'm not expecting anything different for the distant future.

Top 10 Gruesome Methods Of Execution, And More On Torture

2010-10-31T22:40:00.000-07:00

Here's the link:

http://listverse.com/2007/09/12/top-10-gruesome-methods-of-execution/

And vile torture techniques, from Russia with anything but love:

http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/featured/most-horrific-russian-torture-devices/8850

China! No pictures, but graphic reading:

http://clearharmony.net/articles/200309/14846p.html

More random fun for the morbidly minded as a bonus:

http://www.asylumeclectica.com/asylum/gruesome/index.html

Enjoy yourselves. I just had to put this up to see if I'd get a record amount of hits for it. A lowest common denominator thing. Or is that sex? Well, if you want that, you can read 'Closure' from 'The Xanon Chronicles', but it's the last volume of the series, so. . . And it is FICTION!!!!!!! None of that shoite happened. Gods, if it had; I really don't think I would have written it down. Anyway, chicks like Lucy Verona turn me off about as much as the thought of a day in a headcrusher, ya nu? Brrrrrrrrrrr. Don't wanna be in the same room with something like that.

The Catholic Church

2010-10-31T22:38:00.000-07:00

Considering how much damage it's done in the past, and how much damage it's still doing, why does it yet exist? And in my land? I swear, the people of today may as well be Martians, compared to the time before the conversion. Sickening! From horror, to pity, to aversion I went. No place was safe the deterioration. And now that it is possible to fight without being burned at the stake, it's not happening.

I've been here too long.

I need an escape.

An intelligence who's even more passionate than I, for adopted reasons.

Mind-share.

The Night

2010-10-31T22:37:00.001-07:00

Dark, peaceful, quiet, and cooler. I do prefer the cold to hot, though I start to object when we get too far below 0°C. I love it at about 14°C. I'd be happy if it never got warmer than that, but this is not a thing that's up to me.

I look outside now, and it's cloudy and snowing. Quite attractive, but I think I'll stay in. I'm not dressed for it, I don't feel like getting dressed for it, and I don't feel like freezing my arse off right now to experience the delectable warmin' up with a cup of tay, whilst sittin' on the hearth of the fireplace, or whatever. In fact, I don't feel like doing much of anything roi nigh (right now).

Nice bein' the only one up at 2:00 AM, not counting the cats, and just. . .chillin', I suppose is a word to use. The Yankee housemate corrupts me, some.

Nigh Oi suppose I'll jist go aff an' clap (see) if Oi can cum up wi' another literary inspirashun before crawlin' back under de scratcher clothes.

A Statement Of Fact

2010-10-31T22:35:00.000-07:00

Children have no pragmatic value in an industrialised society. in fact, they're a liability.

Then again, the human race isn't noted for pragmatism.

Not all these cultural rituals and traditions. Why are they there? Why were they implimented? A lot of them cost quite a bit. Could it be. . .economy? (In my best Saturday Night Live, 'Church Lady' voice.) Everyone else's economy, that is. NOT the one supporting the ritual. Same with keeping terminal patients alive as long as possible, amongst other things. More money for the medical establishment.

Imagine how much money would be taken out of the system if there were no more marriages, divorces, funerals, burials, and everyone got cremated? No more Christmas shopping, which has about as much to do with the alleged holiday spirit that everyone feigns, as a nuclear war.

Not my problem, though. Not guilty of any of it.

Yet, somebody owes me a poem!

Tsk Tsk--How Khazarian Of You

2010-10-31T22:28:00.001-07:00

http://poorrichards-blog.blogspot.com/2010/12/synagogue-ceiling-darkens-911-skeptics.html

The Talmud is a later corruption of Judaism, and true Judaism and Zionism are not compatible. Oh, why couldn't you all be like my Deliah Nebenzahl?!

A lot of people are going to suffer for the crimes of a few. Then again, what else is new?

Not sorry to see the Israeli government go. In fact, I'm not really sorry to see any of the governments go. They should be tribal only. Or should I say 'regional'?!

Trip-Reset

2010-10-31T22:28:00.000-07:00

It's all going down. If it's not imploding, it's exploding. The real date is December 17, 2010 as I post this. The world economy has crashed, there are riots 'reported' in Europe, we are on the verge of the final war of the era, and those who think they are in power are going to get THEIR dues.

Where the biggest problems started, they will end. This is going to be the biggest snowball effect the world has ever seen.

__________________________________________________________

I look into your eyes, as we touch fingertips. You've come here to do me the biggest favour that anyone has ever done for me, and to see the final entropy of the era. Let's just stand here and hold each other for a while. Then we can go to one of the north balconies and say good-bye to what we've known, and what you've hated so much.

Can't stay there too long, though. The weather's even harsh for me. And after that, how about we find our third 'Musketeer', hit the kitchen, and all of us work on the best meal we've ever had.

Thanks.

The Question Of Personal Motivation

2010-10-31T22:20:00.000-07:00

Why do I feel what I feel for you, and more importantly, why do you feel for me what you do? I'm not going to answer the first part of the question in any way, and I'll answer the second part like your worst nightmare.

You repelled me when I came to you. . .the second time, really. You'd forgotten about the first time we met. You changed your mind about your initial aversion to me before we had to be parted, in the latter half of our second meeting and never wanted me to go away again.

So what made you change your mind? Was it a reaction or reflection of what I felt for you? Does that make your feelings conditional? You're drawn to what I represent, and so many other things in so many ways. I don't think I'll list them, for you know what they are. You question your motivation again. Does this taint what you feel for me? The fact you're attracted to my characteristics? Oh, and then there's the power-lust that you can't deny when I share aspects of myself with you. So you admit to a mercenary interest in me, which you can't help; but think is less than 'kosher'.

You question if you'd still want me around if you were my equal, which in actuality; you are, or if you surpassed me; which you can't. Am I a tool for you to you to discard if you ever have no further use for me? A question that you ask yourself all the time, and one that disturbs you to no end. Are you truly worthy of me? What do I see in you, and why did we meet for that second time? Are your feelings there for the right reasons, and do you consider your association with me honourable?!

You admit you want something else more than me. Knowledge. The Library, or Hall of Records, or whatever you want to call it, is more important to you than I. So is your sense of independence. So what does that mean?!

You know something? I changed my mind! I don't think I'll tell you what I am to you!!!!!!!!!!!! I'd be incriminating myself.

See you later. ;^) After a hug, my other half of a perfectly balanced scale. And you're still here, huh? Does that tell you anything, Mullet-head?

(Why did I broadcast this? Maybe it's something that most of humanity should contemplate.)

The Equality Of All

2010-10-31T22:18:00.000-07:00

I speak not of everyone, but EVERYTHING. All is from the same Source, everything is equal on a subatomic level, yet we treat each other, other species, and things like garbage. What really hurts me it to see an animal abused. Spoken from one who's seen a cat wail for missing another, and one wanting to be spoon-fed over and over again to verify that he's loved and appreciated. To see a canine or else risk his or her life to save their care-taker, and how many have hugged a stallion, and were cheek to cheek with him for an extended period, frozen in motion? Those who are around horses realise they toss their heads a lot, but he knew. . . There is a mourning when a member of the herd, flock or pack is lost. It is accepted, for it happens; but it is acknowledged. The animal kingdom is more like human kind than most can imagine. I consider them superior in so many ways, because they have not been corrupted unless humanity goes out of their way to corrupt them.

More respect for plants might be nice, too. There's a lot more to them than most will care to know. The primaeval conscience that crosses planes, and that can be oh so helpful IF you can figure out how to get through.

There was a time when everyone knew this. When the soul of the one eaten was prayed to and thanked for its sacrifice so another may live. Now this is all but gone.

Obligations

2010-10-31T22:17:00.000-07:00

I don't like them. Doing things because you have to is a far cry of doing things because you want to. There's no pleasure in the former. The best that can be said is that the 'required' task is tolerable, as opposed to being sheer torture. I've mentioned this already, but an obligation is a touch of slavery. A chain. A gaol cell. Bein' hung downside up against the wall in a dungeon.

What's the ultimate pain, is when you wanted to be in a position once, you got it, and then you're stuck with it much later, even though you don't want it any more. You can't escape due to circumstances, and you just pray to every deity in the Pantheon thanking them that nothing lasts forever. At first it seemed like paradise, then it seems like tenure in a school for psychopathic juvenile delinquent teens.

I only have one of those obligation thingys, but like my protege says, "Look on the bright side! You gotta die some time." So there's a light at the end of the tunnel!

Man, I need a warm, buttered, black current-oatmeal scone!

What Is Most Valuable Gift Of All?

2010-10-31T22:16:00.000-07:00

Well, besides love. Unconditional love, that is; for that's the only kind there is.

Knowledge! It really is the most precious gift of all, isn't it? REAL knowledge, and not silly propaganda to just keep things going as they are? Isn't it wonderful to know things? To be aware of how things work, and be able to design anything to withstand the ravages of time, era after era? To know the mathematics behind everything?

Knowledge, and time. Time, which I share reluctantly with anyone anymore, but the one who made me as I am, and the one I am in the process of rebuilding with not only permission, but with pleading. (PLEEEEEEEASE! MAKE ME THE BEST MAN THAT I CAN BE, HAVE I A SCHLONG OR NO!!!!!!!!!!) I don't wanna explain that right now, but any animal as well, of course. The animal kingdon does get first priority here, for I must admit that in my youth, I needed them more than they needed me. I no longer really need them, but I remember. People collectively need them to survive, but they are so much better off without people. People deliver them so much gratuitous pain. Need I make a list?

Sometimes a life is given for another. That is quite a sacrifice, but it sure isn't easy on the one left behind, is it?!

Memories!

I think I want to go away and cry now.

I'm Irish, we do things like that, OK???????!!!!!!!!!!!

Where Do I Find These. . Um. . .I'm At A Loss For Words

2010-10-31T22:15:00.001-07:00

Sitting there on the couch, having the precious middle seating, and not even having had to fight for it. Tay kettle and Swiss chocolate with whole hazelnuts on the table in front of you, and all of a sudden you get a question. "What if you wake up one day, and see everybody as a worse than useless liability?"

No, I did not say, "You shoot yourself." Nor did I suggest becoming a hermit, and with the priorities of that thing to my left, I couldn't even suggest a re-evaluation of priorities was in order. I had no clue on what to say. I looked to my right. "If I'm going to answer that within a reasonable span of consciousness, I am going to have to step out of time."

The one to my right looked at the one to my left. "You shoot yourself."

If I'd been holding my tay, I would have made a pretty big mess, I ended up laughing so hard.

I suppose one of us would no longer go to market after this night, not that it mattered.

Oh, and apparently I was not on that list of liabilities. . .nor was the one to my right.

I don't think I'll write down why I came to that conclusion.

Shameless Promotion Of Project----MORGAN'S ILLUSTRATIONS!

2010-10-31T22:15:00.000-07:00

The Illustrations, again:

http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a24/Morgan665/

No, the artist is no Boris Vallejo, Michael Whelan, John Waterhouse, or Howard Johnson. Just an amateur dilettante who had to work from memory. Still. . .do the drawings make ya wanna read my story set any more than before ya saw 'em? I am a decent short story writer, a damn good poet, but only a so-so novelist of a mostly, though not quite completely fictional tale; if ya can live with that. Hey, it's all there.

Volume #1: http://whatrevelationnevertoldyou.blogspot.com/

The rest of the links are in the second post from the top of this blog, or temporarily the third if I forget to properly date something, or forget to put my mysterious progress tally on 'draught/draft', or you can go to my profile, and get the rest there quite easily, provided you're familiar with Roman numerals. If you're not, Google 'em!

I'm sorry, but I can be so damn pretentious sometimes. Often, really. In fact, most of the time. ;^)

Some Times I Think I've Seen It All. . .

2010-10-31T22:13:00.000-07:00

Then I'm proven wrong in some of the strangest ways. Moments like these make me question my own imagination and my worth as a creator. I can get very competitive that way.

On the other hand, I'm not beyond enjoying someone else's artwork and ideas. . .even if they are a tad ephemoral some times.

No Matter How Good You Are. . .

2010-10-31T22:11:00.000-07:00

I do NOT recommend ice-dancing to Shedrick by Mykola Leontovich. I think I would have died, if I could have. I crashed to the ice as the ten-minute speedy instrumental came to a close, got myself hauled up, and carried off said ice over my mentor's shoulders; too rung out even argue.

Bein' kinda short, and kinda light-weight can come in handy for some things where gymnastics are called for, but other times it does me a disadvantage.

Never mind the names I got called.

But at least he (Yes, HE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I've become rather open-minded on some things rather early in the game, despite my innate tendencies which apparently weren't too ingrained.) made it up to me. . .WITH the help of the other. . .who. . .um. . .could also sling me over her shoulders, though not as dead weight, and only with my full cooperation.

Depending On Someone Else Sucks

2010-10-31T22:10:00.000-07:00

Gods, it is so annoying to know I can do something in a week that someone else is spending a year doing. It's holding me back, but there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not where I wanna be, and I wanna get out of this 'taco joint', but I can't until everything is in place.

At least I live with two who have never let me down, although one of them does have to be occasionally threatened in ways I can't believe, to make it so. Surrealism knows no bounds. (No, there are no threats of violence. One day I may write it down, but that's not a promise. It's just so damn weird, that I can't quite bring myself to broadcast it now; if ever, OK???????)

Predawn, In De Winter

2010-10-31T22:08:00.000-07:00

0I went down the stairs of the verandah, and find the snow a few centimetres above my ankles. Sun up was due in about an 'our. Inside, Earl Grey was steepin' in the kettle, and I was surprised the vapour from my breath didn't solidify and crash to the ground. Glad we have multiple heat sources, and glad we made sure everything was full-up before this mess started.

It was so quiet. Snow might start falling any time. The sky was cloudy as far as I could see. It was harsh, but I loved it. I'd drag a bale of hay out at dusk later, for whatever came by.

We had enough to spare.

Actually, I rather wished the sky had been clear. True, it may have been even colder, but a starry sky on a night like this would have been impressive. Even better, if there'd been an aurora borealis.

Then I had to go back inside before a body part fell off. I'd be the one makin' breakfast for us.

Get more hazelnut butter!

Waiting

2010-10-31T22:07:00.000-07:00

I hate doing it. I generally find something to keep myself occupied when I am waiting for something, but there are occasions when it doesn't matter, and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. In some instances I have the patience of a cat stalking its prey, and other times I have none.

There is a saying. If you want something to get done, do it yourself. Problem is, I can't. I'm not set up, right. I could get set up right, but the amount of work and gratuitous cost is just too much. By the time I am set up, what I am waiting for will have come to fruition, so there's no point.

Gods, am I actually using this blog thing as a sounding board?!

Uh, I guess so.

Suppose I could use a nice distraction now.

Off to the library. Maybe I can find a good classic I can curl up in bed with. Not snowed in, but what better way to spend a frigid December 22, real time?

Another Sleepless Noight

2010-10-31T22:06:00.000-07:00

Here I sit, in front of the computer, next to the heater under the window. Below freezin' outside, and I'm toasty warm, in my socks, skivvies, with t-shirt included. I'm between readin' a historical novel on-line, of my land that is bringin' back memories that are almost setting me to tears, checkin' the progress of what I'm here for so that I can move on and shed no more tears, this blog, and the general goin' ons in the warrld.

No progress on what I'm here for. I was told I would see it come January, but I have been lied to in the past in a favourable fashion. Things happened faster than I was told they would happen.

Bein' trapped in and by time was alien to me. I loathed it to no end. Dependin' on others was the worst of it. Especially when they didn't share my sense of urgency. When they were unawares there was a race to see what got there first. The task at hand, or the eternal destruction of all the work me and mine have done; because it was not at the proper place in time for the upheavals that are due?

So here I sit; somewhere between the edge of time and the edge of forever, somewhere above the fiftieth latitude due north in one of the harshest years of recent history, past the point of no return. Provided I exist, that is.

But maybe I do.

Find out when ya get here, huh?

Star-Crossed

2010-10-31T22:05:00.000-07:00

From whence before time existed,
You and I were destined; my love.
We both had different claims to fill,
A call to duty; gods above.
I've known of you since time began,
And waited as eons went by.
You were warned of the pain to be,
And went forth despite; to defy
All common sense. Now you are there,
And I am here to meet in dreams;
As you dragged me out of hist'ry,
And you yourself will face extremes
To share my quest in easing fears
For what's to be, for no reason
Does exist for that fear. Indeed,
Man exists in realms of treason
To himself; for he gave his mind
To dogma, lies, and illusion
Dealing in vile dualities.
Such a comforting delusion
For those seeking reward to end
The lives that are so innocent
Of all but demanding freedom,
And thinking for themselves, as meant.

Thank you, and let's end this one dream
In embrace. I'll get you soon.

Vanity

2010-10-31T22:03:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhh, look what the cat dragged in. My protégé, looking like a hod-carrier, as usual. Never was one to spend time on. . um. . .'herself', if I may so use the term without getting clobbered. Very low maintenance. NO maintnance is more like it. Don't believe me, I'll leave it to her to strangle ya with her 12.7 centimetre (That's 5 inches to ya bleedin' Yanks.) armpit hairs. Hasn't happened yet to my knowledge, but there's a first time for everythin' perish the thought. And don't look at me! I dissed my oxter hairs eons ago. I was metro before there was metro, OK?????

She's OK by me, really. No knock-out, but not bad. Then again, what do I care for what this individual looks like? All I got seduced by, was some creative intelligence who can do stuff with rhyme, a word processor, and graphite, huh? Even she asks, why waste time or resources on appearance? Seeking to be objectified by worthless mortal flotsam that has proven to be nothing but a liability at worst, or superfluous entertainment at best? (And people call ME the aloof one?) That makes sense to me, considering not only her priorities, but mine.

But woe is me, if I took that attitude. Then again, I shouldn't complain. Sometimes it's good to be the bitch. Guess who didn't have to feed the equines tonight?

On the other hand, I can't get away with, 'Not tonight, I have a headache'. (I don't get headaches, and everybody knows it.)

An Observation On Time

2010-10-31T22:01:00.000-07:00

There's so little of it in the industrialised world for those how are. . .um. . .still employed? And yet, what little there is, is spent. . .watching television?

What's to say, what's to say? I've seen a few recorded films, but never had a TV. Even the films are not something I go out of my way for. Sorry, but I consider sittin' in front of the fireplace, lost in thought, more entertaining. After all, something might even come of that. Perhaps another poem or story?

The Infernal Credit Card

2010-10-31T22:00:00.000-07:00

You see something. You can't afford it now, but with this little piece of plastic, you can have it now. For a price. Interest! So instead of waiting until you can afford it, you get the object now to pay quite a bit extra for it.

What is credit card interest? How much interest do you get if you keep your money in a credit union or bank?

I'd probably have to do multiple posts on this one if I really got into it, because blogger doesn't give me enough room for what it would take for all the insults I have on the intelligence; or lack there of, of individuals who do this.

*********************************

Hmmmmmmm! This blog is beginning to remind me of the 16th volume I will never consolidate. I suppose that's what it is. A mish-mash of everything. I suppose I could rearrange it, depending on what goes, and put all the poetry here, all the stories there, all the random thoughts somewhere else. . .

But I won't. That's a threat AND a promise.

Just Exactly To Whom Or What Do We Owe Ourselves?

2010-10-31T21:59:00.000-07:00

Our time? Our freedom? Our lives? Our inconvenience? Why are we here? Do we live for ourselves? Everybody else? The world? Materialism? To learn and grow? To suffer? (Sure seems like it, for most.) Are we leaving the world better or worse off for having lived? (Stupid question, I know. Rhetorical even, considering the state of the world.)

How many are born enthusiastic, and end up jaded before they hit 35, if they even live that long?

Do you enjoy life? Really think it's worth perpetuating? Or did you only do that because people told you that was what you were supposed to do? Can you still think for yourself, or do you just react to other people's opinions? Is anything in that walking corpse you are stuck in, of its own design? Or have you been so programmed you might as well be an automaton?!

WHAT ARE YOU???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And, why?

Hmmmmmmmm. I'm not saying or asking anything that hasn't been said or asked before, but still. . .should I change my handle to 'The Midnight Philospher"?

Nahhhhhhhhhhhh.

Exploitation

2010-10-31T21:58:00.001-07:00

The world runs on it. Eat or be eaten. Is it morally right? If you have a choice, and you know you are doing it, do you do it anyway? Do you feel one way or another about it? Do you TRY to tread lightly so fewer suffer? Or do you contribute as possible in your thoughtless ways, regardless of how much blood was shed for your pleasure? And I speak not only of people, but of all species.

Reflecting

2010-10-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

What else to do when you get up in the wee hours, and the other two are still in bed? You just cooked up a small piece of salmon and shrimp for the cats, they just had that with some fresh unpasturised cream, and they're doing their best now to get as much of themselves in your lap as there is room for, purring up a storm. Occasionally one will groom either themselves, or another. True love.

Something so rare in life. Something almost impossible to experience. Almost, but for those who remember what they truly are, and reconnect with that.

To sit there. The one you outweigh faces you, and places themself in your lap. They wrap themselves around you, and you return the embrace; cheek to cheek. You both close your eyes, blank out your mind of the internal dialogue, and let go. One. . .one. . .become one. . .mind-share. To truly KNOW what the other thinks of you IN TRUTH. ALL THE WAY! NO lies or equivocations possible.

It always ends the same way, and the third embraces us both.

Will we ever be able to handle it?!

Maybe somewhere else. . .out of time.

Soooooo, How Do You Military Recruiters Feel. . .

2010-10-31T21:57:00.000-07:00

About seducin' the kids into Hell???????????

http://english.aljazeera.net/indepth/2010/12/20101223113859171112.html

Can ya sleep at night? Whatcha gonna do when you have to face your past, and what you did? All the pain you caused? All the lives destroyed?

Exposing Corruption

2010-10-31T21:56:00.000-07:00

You get fired for it, you get thrown in jail for it and tortured (Ever hear of Bradley Manning?), you get slapped with a felony for filming it (Seal hunts in Canada, BP oil spill.), you get shot for it (Independent war reporters who tell it like it is.), and if you had it on YouTube, YouTube will pull the video when the cops tell them to of a guy gettin' the crap beat out of 'im for no reason:

http://whatreallyhappened.com/content/vid-police-attack-man-shooting-bow-and-arrows-own-yard-threaten-seize-house-part-investigati#comments

The video is gone, like I said, but the description and the comments are still there. Still. For now. Great world, huh?

Aye, I am gettin' a bit activist and political. Why not?

Oh, and by the way; the enforcers are just as expenable as the rest of us. Must they be reminded? They're just tools. What was it Henry Kissenger said about soldiers? The American soldier is a dumb stupid animal to be used for foreign corporate interests? Well, that's corporate interests in general, and the same goes for the police. And people do tend to get uppity after too much abuse. It's how revolutions start. Google how many heads of state have been offed. Et tu Brute, huh? And also google how many police officers are getting killed in the line of duty. And while we're at it, the pending food shortages caused by the frigid weather, caused in part by the dead gulf stream, caused by the toxic chemical dispersants that not only killed the gulf stream, but the whole area around it, since the stuff evaporates, gets let loose in the rain, and kills the plants. The people in the area are also being made very sick, and won't last. And what will be the long term consequences?!

It's gonna get messy. That's all I can say. Not my idea of a comfortable transition, but oh well. Shoite happens.

Innundated

2010-10-31T21:55:00.000-07:00

Sitting, only because you're being propped up. Otherwise, you'd fall, you're so. . .um. . .not all there, I suppose. Weak? Sedated? Don't know what to say. Quite a few grams of what warm oil to expect poured lavishly over your shoulders? Rose? Jasmine? Alyssum? Sandalwood? Magnolia? Some mixture you can't identify? Applied so delicately by someone who can absolutely, literally, completely crush you in every sense of the word in seconds.

Luxurious, unknown, heavenly scent.

Before you sits one in deep concentration, scrutinising your face; not that you can see that one. Your eyes are closed. There's no way they could be anything else right now.

The study ends. A hand grabs the hair in back of your head and pulls you forward. You couldn't fight back if you wanted to. You just let go, and allow yourself to be positioned to suit the uncommonly modified one in front of you. You do only what is expected in the unspoken demand, as you weaken further, being drawn out in a soft, gentle, feathery, rhythmic hold that becomes more powerful as the moments draw out for a seeming eternity; as pleasure and pain become one. The one behind presses himself against you, and you can feel the sheer power in every muscle; yet know it will never be used against you.

His satin touch works the oil into your shoulders, chest and abdomen.

It's too much. You can't get away. Nothing that is happening can be stopped. But it is. At the border, with the last thing you were expecting taking you to your own event horizon, frozen in and out of time.

*****************

Now did what I implied actually happen?

Uh. . .mayyyyyyyybe. I suppose that's for me to know, and you to never find out.

A Year And a Half

2010-10-31T21:54:00.001-07:00

Hmmmmm. Stuck here for that duration to oversee the completion of the job I volunteered for. . .maybe. Part of the time is gone already, and perhaps it won't take that long. It's a drag playing by rules I don't like, but can't avoid.

Only one member of the household is happy to be here. The only one that this was a step up for, but the rest of us see it as a bit of an uncool limbo. I hope my agent comes through for me.

Things aren't late, at least. Fifteen months to go, at worst. Could be worse. Hey, it's less time than full circle at a community college!

Well, I guess I could leave sooner, but that wouldn't be very nice. I'd also be runnin' on a wing and a prayer, hoping everything falls into place without me. Has that happened yet?!

Oh, off to research the progress!

Having Fun With Your Faery Tail Holidays?????

2010-10-31T21:54:00.000-07:00

Aye, I spelled it like that deliberately. Want to find out about your Christmas holiday? Read the whole thread, huh?

http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=190893

And have you had fun this year breaking the bank account for another one of those 'traditions' that exist mainly to support someone else's economy?

Hail all the Pagan deities born on December 25. There were quite a few of them.

An Old Look At Religion With A Greater Degree of Greater Accuracy

2010-10-31T21:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.bibliotecapleyades.net/biblianazar/esp_biblianazar_1.htm

A direct link to Laurance Guardner without going through the RMN stuff of clicking tons of links.

Fascinating read. Yes, I know it contradicts a little of what I wrote in my series, but I'm not going to change it. Too lazy to correct what I found out too late.

I suppoose I ought to just delete the previous post I did with the RMN connexion to this direct link, but I won't. After all, RMN is a good political link, though some of the posts are a bit. . .um. . .out of the stadium, shall we say. And while we're on political links, rense.com, blacklistednews.com and whatreallyhappened.com are damn good, too.

Wake up and smell the shoite, ya know?

Merry Mithramas

2010-10-31T21:52:00.000-07:00

For those who actually come here on 12/25/2010. Might as well call it what it really is, huh? Enjoy! It may your last, not that this is a ba thing. ;^) If you know the TRUTH, that is.

Hey! I might even C-ya some time!

And ya gotta admit. It beats this:

http://www.rumormillnews.com/cgi-bin/forum.cgi?read=190963

*************************************************************************************

'Mmmm. Tree posts in a row on de seem subject. Shud oi consolodate dem? Naaaaaaaaah!

I Swear, It's Like The World Stopped Rotating Today

2010-10-31T21:47:00.000-07:00

Everything's shut down. Very frustrating to one who's on a deadline, depending on someone else with different priorities.

Too bad I'm not into getting drunk into oblivion, and just making the day irrelevant. I suppose I'll go for a ride to the shore, later. It wasn't snowing today, and it would be nice to get out. Perhaps after that I should check out the library to see if there is anything that will keep me occupied for a few days during this so unproductive time of year. This is usually my favourite time of year here; but not now. Gods, I can't believe I agreed to this!

I must keep reminding myself that I'm still ahead of the game. Nothing is late, and though I know not what the immediate future holds, all should go as planned. If all falls completely apart, so be it. It won't matter then. (Then again, shouldn't I know? Maybe I do, and am just not telling? On the other hand, I'm probably just a delusion, so hey, huh?)

Yeah, yeah, yeah, gripe, gripe, gripe! Personal garbage not of interest to anyone. Worry not, for there will be more.

Blah!

The 'Enigmatic' Flowchart Map--Here For Personal Reasons

2010-10-31T21:41:00.000-07:00

We part under contract

Paradise with one critical thing missing-disconnect-my warning

Hell

Latchkey

Leo-astronomy-artificially inspired interest in various sciences

Sean-Blake-Morrison-true interest in the literary arts

Revenge-madness-misery-implosion-I'm back-I'm repelled-irrelevant-forgotten-promises made-future seen-some Akashic Knowledge accessed-frustration

Dharma trigger-our job starts

Effigy found for what does not exist-doesn't work-I'm remembered, but not correctly-obsessive writing starts-freedom from the worst in life attained-self sovereignty established to the degree allowed

Ego-status seeker-hateful iconoclast-contempt-become what you weren't meant to be-materialism-hedonism-art-work-striving-exhaustion-further disconnect-creator-button pusher-impressive in so many ways-looking for me-detachment from what is

Effigy found for self-re-establish-limited time for self-further exhaustion-Akashic Visions proven true-effigy recognised for what he is-unconditionality-crash-work for me

Tread water-rebuild-fire of purification-rebuild-peace-retire-further revenge for the past-clean up for me what I need to do as I take care of you, my dear agent

Dancin' in the ruins-I'm baaaaaaaaaaaack!!!!!!!!-All the way-end of duality

*************************************************************************************

All had to be as it was. I couldn't do more, I couldn't do less. I had no choice but to be an asshole some times, not that I was the only one guilty of some rather obnoxious behaviour; though it was never uncalled for on my part. Dealing with a loose cannon made some things I did that I really didn't want to do, necessary. Allegedly withdrawing for a year was the worst, and just as hard on me, not that I really left. I still kept tabs, and suffered for it. Though for what was done right, much was done wrong for the right end.

I'll compensate. I promise. For both my mistakes. . .and yours. . .soon. Now, we have to put all three of our noses to the grindstone for everybody else. Then we'll set up our OWN damn company. The cornerstone has been laid, thanks to your burning the midnight oil for so many years, and even now.

Love you, 'dude'. Just as much as the one who won me over as a kid, despite how I was programmed. And The Mod Squad can eat our dust.

*************************************************************************************

Don't understand any of this? Good! It should be a private message, but blogging it makes me feel better, OK? I have some issues with myself I have to work out, if WE don't mind!

In Front Of Me Sat. . .A Work Of Art (It's Toast As I Write This)

2010-10-31T21:40:00.001-07:00

On a plate did lie a huge cap of a portabella mushroom. It was stuffed with a thick layer of spinach topped with devilled egg yolk. Who knows what was done with the whites?! I wasn't there. This delectable yellow dream had minced celery, onions, garlic, red bell pepper, black Kalamata olive, tomatoes, capers, mushroom stems, regular mayonnaise, and just a touch of wasabi mayonnaise that would have sent this Irish lad clinging to the ceiling if that's all that had been used. Five Kalamata whole, pitted, black Kalamata olives were evenly spaced making a pentagram on top of that, and a flower-cut radish half was in the middle of it all. It was so pretty, I almost didn't want to eat it.

With it went still warm garlic bread with not only olive oil, butter, garlic powder, paprika, herbs without papers, but actual minced garlic pieces, a delicious mushroom, garlic, and basmati rice pilaf with Hell knows what else in it, along with garlic mashed potatoes and enough butter on those potatoes to slurp up with the bread.

To drink, it was Martinelli sparkling apple cider.

Dinner for all.

Food hadn't ever been the high point of my life, but I swear stuff like this was almost addictive!

Okaaaaaaaaaaaaay. Who said they weren't going shopping any more???????? And who hates to cook with as much passion as she hates 'crotch droppings'?????????????

So, does someone wanna see me on the ice, on guitar, or get laid; though after that meal that's gonna have to wait until tomorrow, at least!

I ain't doin' no stunt ridin' in this weather!

I raised my glass to gentle persuasion, manipulation, and unrefusable offers!

Hey! It happened all the time. Cats, and horses or ponies are quite good at it, too.

I'm Looking At News Stories, And I Wonder. . .

2010-10-31T21:39:00.001-07:00

Is it legal to have an IQ over 50? Is it legal to know anything real? Is it legal to be self-sufficient, and self-sovereign? Is it legal to not need anyone or anything?

Sometimes I really can't take this. I feel like I'm totally wasting my time being here. I'm also a feeling a little guilty that I dragged the two loves of my life into this.

Oh well. They asked for it, and so did I. At least things are on track.

I Feel Not Only Like A Nutter, But A Complete Idiot

2010-10-31T21:39:00.000-07:00

I suppose all three of us are. Granted, our existence isn't bad, statistically. Quite comfortable, really; but still. . .not as good as home. We came here so I could leave my legacy, then we will go back to where we came from. A tentative 18 months total, at worst.

Gods, I thought almost 18 years of this was enough for the longest time; but oh well. I kind of got persuaded to do so, not that it was very difficult. The inconveniences abound, but at least we're not as limited as those who exist in oblivion to what they really are. We can still do all the things we were meant to do, no holds barred; so it's way better than the majority who hasn't a clue as to what abilities they've buried. Thank mostly the church for that. And today, people have no idea how to raise their children; and NO IT'S NOT WITH YEAST!!!!!!!!!!!

(Said to the creature beside me, who thinks the only good child is a cooked child.)

Regrets

2010-10-31T21:25:00.000-07:00

OK, I'm on a tangent, here. It happens all the time, I can see it with others, but I can't believe it's probably happening to me.

You want to try something new, and you see yourself as something else. You think of it for a long time, and you strive for it. You get in the position you want, and you see it's not all you thought it was. Every day, you hate it more and more, and you just struggle to keep from quitting. The only thing that prevents you from making that decision is a succulent carrot on that proverbial stick, so to speak.

And one day, you will find yourself in another position to have made that endeavour worth every painstaking moment.

Maybe.

AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Forgivness Of Past Foes

2010-10-31T21:20:00.000-07:00

Hmmmmmm. I'm going to be a wee hypocritical here, for I have problems with that myself. Will I ever forgive Rome, or the Catholic church for the damage they have done to so many civilisations and people? Not that I hate Catholics, or the Roman citizen in general. I take them all on an individual basis, but the politics of those two, and the catalysts. . .like I would NEVER be caught in the same room with Arnaud Amaury, yer nu? (That's 'you know' in my dialect.) I even like a handful of the emporors, ye gods. (Marcus Aurelius, Nerva, Hadrian, Trajan, and Antoninus Pius)

But on the other hand, sometimes past tribulations make a better individual of you. You can learn from the mistakes the one who made your life so hard, and circumvent them if you have half a brain. On occasion they goad you into driving yourself to glories you could never have dreamed of, just to prove yourself to yourself. You might even find yourself in a state most would do anything to attain. So despite the misery they caused you, they didn't destroy you, and made you what you are. Freddie Wilhelm Nietzsche was someone on track for some situations when he said what does not kill you makes you stronger. So perhaps you owe some people your gratitude in addition to the blast from the flame thrower?

No, that didn't come out right, but hey!

Do we think this is a subject I should have touched, being I'm really not very dispassionate about it and have my own unresolved issues?

Probably, huh?!

Just After Midnight

2010-10-31T21:19:00.001-07:00

The winds are comin' in pretty hard. I hear 'em howlin'. Sitting next to a heater it's warm, but I swear those noises are sendin' chills down me. Bed sounds nice around now. Me asleep just after the clock stuck four and twenty? What a concept. Almost unheard of, in these parts.

Now who do I want to sleep next to?! Or shall I attempt to manoeuver mineself into the middle?

Oh, I'll see what I can get away with.

Remind Me To Buy A Flame Thrower

2010-10-31T21:18:00.001-07:00

Beats shovelling snow, I'd say. All three of us got on it. For the effort, we'd go to town later and have a feast at one of our favourite Asian eateries. And tomorrow, we'd eat out again, after gangin' up on the house. Well, part of it, anyway. We sealed off the six unused rooms which we'd deemed superfluous, and took the lived-in three rooms apiece. Two bathrooms, kitchen, bedroom, living room, library, studio, lounge, and foyer. We ignored the snow covered balconies of the upstairs bedroom and lounge. They were reinforced, and wouldn't collapse. It wasn't too bad a weekly ritual. We had very few knick-knacks or decorative dust-collectors. We'd finish in about three hours, then party. The stable was more of a bitch, though even that was way easier than what most had going, considering the way we had it set up.

We'd always include some take-away chicken for the cats, and if we ordered East Asian; usually Chinese, we'd buy a couple of large boxes of mixed veggies for the two ponies and the horse. It's not much for them, but the equines do love the stir-fry.

It was going to be an expensive week, but it wouldn't kill us.

Well, Excuuuuuuuuuuse Me

2010-10-31T21:08:00.000-07:00

I shake my head in wonderment. Someone told my my writing style was too colloquial. Um. . .this started out as an off-the-wall, personal phantasy project that had vague, symbolic references to my existence here and there, and the exitences of those closest to me; that my housemates said I should publish. I rearranged it a little, unfortunately on a U.S. word processing programme, but hey! Here it is. And one dude who read it, was a bit put off because he was a straight male.

Well, so what? It's about me, not him! Sheesh! And though I do kind of lean mostly in that direction (straight) myself, the first true love of my life happened to be male, OK? It was platonic for the longest time, but things do happen eventually out of curiosity, and our encounter was something worth repeating. Also, he is quite easy on the eyes, so. . . And then there's my favourite mullet-head. That one is of another gender. From a psychological perspective, I'm not quite sure what exactly what that gender may be, but we do NOT share common plumbing, which works for me.

One of each is nice. The diversity of experiences is incredible, and the sensations can be over the top. And before anything, we are friends, first and foremost! The only commitments we have to each other are the ones we make ourselves. We demand or expect NOTHING from each other, and if no one is at risk for injury, anything goes. We are completely unconditonal with each other, and it WORKS! The group having the attitude of not being able to do enough for each other, helps. And though we do banter a lot with word play in fun, we never fight. One day I may publish some of the things we have said to each other. Uh. . .maybe. Or on second thought. . .

Also, I must say the fair sex seems to prefer the story set to um. . .sausage casings as one lass I know that does NOT live with us, insists on calling the schlonged ones. (All right, so I am publishing some of the banter right here.) Well, OK! Unless they're gay, emo, as iconoclastic as Hell, or have other issues.

A Pointless Writing Exercise

2010-10-31T21:07:00.000-07:00

You've been on the road for three days. You haven't eaten since then, you've barely had any sleep, you're a complete mess, but at least you got here.

You got caught in the rain, yesterday. You don't look too good, but at least you made it back. How long has it been? How many years? I almost don't want to think about it. I've missed you, and I have been waitin'. Now, let's get you cleaned up and warmed up at the same time. Then you can crash for a while. I'll heat you up some food and tay while you're in the shower. Come on in. It's warmer inside.

*****

You only have what you're wearin'. I'm not much taller than you. I have more than enough for you to wear, though you'll have to pardon the skivvies. You raise your hand, and lower your head. I touch my fingertips to yours, and we intertwine our fingers.

Later. Finally. Go get cleaned up, and I'll bring you a bottle of orange juice. Then I'll get you something for bed. I'll leave the clothes on the chair, and you can leave the bottle on the counter when you finish the juice. You can just throw the wet clothes you have on in the hamper. I can separate 'em after they're washed, and I'll do the laundry tomorrow.

*****

Long. So damn long. But you had things to do not only for yourself, but for me. Now that you've done them, you came back a bit worse for the wear, but still ahead of the game. You've got quite a few battle scars, most of them mental, but you're still in one piece. Look better than most, for what you've been through. What I can't heal, time will.

When I go to get the empty orange juice bottle, I find you sittin' on the floor under the pourin' water. You passed out. I turn the water off, heave you out, and carry you to the bed. I figured you won't be eatin' tonight, as I dried you off. It's OK. I can have what I made for you. We can have a feast, when you wake up. I'd turned the heatin' pad on for you already, moved the blanket aside, and covered you up. Gettin' you dressed wasn't worth the bother. Yes, I'm still usin' satin for the sheets, so maybe it's better this way. The hedonism you took to spoiled me to no ends. In a way it's a paradox, what you just came back from; but I have to thank you.

I went to the kitchen and finished off what I made for you, along with the whole kettle of tay. Four cups. I've done worse, but not at one sittin'. I took my own shower, and joined you. It was nice to have you at my side again.

*****

I woke first, of course. I dressed, and went off to the kitchen. Spinach, garlic, and mushroom crepes with crumpets topped with hazelnut butter and blueberry preserves. Pineapple juice, and tay. A fruit salad with fresh lychees, jackfruit, passionfruit, young coconut pieces, strawberries, bananas, and tangerines topped with a coconut and fresh cream from our neighbour to the north, was included. When I was done, you were sitting at the table in my robe, socks, and a smile on your face. You'd poured tay for both of us, and creamed the cups as well.

I brought the food to the table, and stroked your hair. "Naw nade ter tell me waaat 'appened. Oi nu it al', an' yer won yisser wars."

"Dat, Oi did. an' Oi broot yer back from de dead in de process."

I laughed. "Oi never got away, love. Yer dragged me name oyt from de 'istory books, an' spread it internationally. Roi before Oi leave dem al' de way. 'oy ironic, but de tale 'ill live. De cost ter yer wus 'igh. De cost ter both av us, really; an' Oi owe yer wan." I served us both, and sat down.

"Oi did waaat Oi did for me, as well as yer. Yer owe me nathin', for you've already given me al' yer can gie, Oi appreciate it, an' 'opefully Oi measure up ter yer."

"Yer alwus 'av measured up ter me. Jist differently. After al', we're not de seem individual, an' in our current separateness, we al' 'av different skills." Complimentary skills that did not compete, and were used to arrive at common goals; though we overlapped in more ways than we differed.

She raised her cup to me, and winked. We finished our breakfast.

*****

Long, so long. We brought our dishes to the sink, and I ran hot water over them. They'd be washed later by whoever got to them first. After I turned the water off, she put her right arm around me, and we engaged in an all-out embrace, holding each other as close as possible. I stood on my toes, and kissed her on the forehead. She closed her eyes, then first traced my chest with her left fingers, before runnin' her hand over my rear. "You're as bonny as ever."

I closed my eyes, and nodded. "As yer nu, we never change unless we want ter. As yer 'ill mind after the-day."

"Aye."

I got my shirt half-way unbuttoned, and we walked back to the bedroom, hand in hand. After we shed our clothes, I opened the drawer of on of the nightstands, and pulled out a vial of Dragon's Blood that hadn't been touched yet. She sat down, and I poured half of it onto her shoulders, and worked it in. She took the vial, and did the same to me with the rest of the heavenly oil. I sat against the pillows I'd raised against the headboard, and she connected herself. I said, "Don't move. Not in any way or form. Yer don't 'av ter, an' yer nu it."

"Indeed."

In our frozen lotus embrace, I opened my mind, and took hers in. We'd never part ways again, as we became one in ways no mortal could dream of. . .as she became like me. . .again.

Welcome home, and you could have picked another way; rather than leaving the pool of blood when you crashed your guts out, as you left behind the world's reality.

(It really would help to understand the gist of this if you'd read my short stories first, though it would be nice if the main series were read before the short stories (Volumes 11-14, or rather XI-XIV), not that this is happening; judging from my snowballing hit counts.)

*********************************************************************************************

Now is this the past, the future, an analogy, or a crock of shoite?!

You'll never nu. Muahahahahahaha!

(Yes, I can be silly sometimes, as you may have noted. I quite often am, for I have to be with the two I reside with of my own species. Though I must admit, those not of my species can get quite playful and astoundingly humourous at times. After all, we have more in common that most would care to admit.)

Promises

2010-10-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

Promises made, promises delivered, promises in progress, promises all but broken, and the worst of all; promises on hold. I feel like I'm dying inside, but I can't yet make any moves due to extenuating circumstances.

Debt, destiny, contracts. . .love. There is a favour I just have to repay, though it's not expected. It's a self-imposed debt, like most are. The wait to do what I have to do is ripping me to shreds, but wait; I must. There's a time and a place for everything. Unfortunately that time is not NOW!

I HATE being trapped in time. Thank all deities in the Pantheon it's not forever.

You're Never Too Old To Get Your Mind Blown

2010-10-31T21:02:00.001-07:00

You get called in for breakfast, and what do you find?! Uh. . .veggie pot stickers with sesame- chilli oil over them, but not enough to send my Irish pallet to the ceiling, a heavily buttered, warm piece of bread with garlic baked in, or should I say breaded butter, considering the ratio of butter to bread, and um. . .sheets of teriyaki seaweed. OK, that got a double-take out of me. Then I had a cup of tay. Lapsang souchong. I had no idea what to expect, being I'd never had it before. Talk about shock!

It reminded me of the smoked meat I used to have when I was a statistical shaveling (,not that I retained the ability to grow a beard, considering I don't like them) , before I became a non-vegan vegetarian. Hey! Don't even THINK about asking me to give up my cream and butter, chocolate, and cheeses. I like eggs, too, so. . .

Anyways, I didn't quite fall out of the chair. I did end up liking it after a few cups, but smoked tay was an unheard of concept for me prior to this experience. The rest of the breakfast wasn't bad either, but ye gods it was weird. Not as weird as the time my favourite mullethead moulded a tofu-mushroom-veggie loaf into something of a baby effigy before cooking. Olives for eyes, carrot piece for nose, red bell pepper piece for mouth. AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!

I had her make the thing on the platter unrecognisable before I could eat it, and even then I had a few queasy moments. Considering all the cannibalism jokes I have to put up with, I should have been waiting for that stunt, but that was easier to deal with in theory, than reality.

Around here, you never know what to expect. Not that this is always a bad thing. ;^)

I Look At My Stats, And Smile

2010-10-31T21:02:00.000-07:00

Indonesia? Malaysia? Yemen? I'm probably as alien as somebody from Regulus to you guys, but I raise my cup to you. Now if I get Saudia Arabia (Gods, when will that parasitic government fall?! Not really doin' the people much of a favour. Not that any other government is. Self-serving leeches! All of them!), I will have seen it all. Me! An out-of-the-closet statistical nutter who's a radical feminist, a total iconoclast, more or less has a one-of-each 'harem' of two, and is 'in-your-face' about it. Sort of. Well, I don't own them, but surviving rabies would be easier than getting rid of them, not that I'd want to do a silly thing like that.

I'll not get into 'official' and 'actual' on some of the Middle East lifestyles regarding this, but let's just say being indiscreet on such matters can get you killed if someone has it out for you. But on the other hand, that happens everywhere, doesn't it? For you Yanks, my major audience; Matthew Shepherd? Brandon Teena? Gwen Araujo? Duanna Johnson? It's been a while, but my own dear Oscar Wilde? The list is really miles long, in history; and it's sooooo STOOPID!!!!!!!!

Now when will I get hits from Africa? I did write one short story on Eritrea, and another on Liberia. So sad what politics does to those people! Gods, if only Europe had never colonised Africa. Everyone has their 'tribal' conflicts, but the mass genocides would never have happened, the quagga wouldn't have been killed off, and they lived quite well with their environment and the animals before the invasions. Anyone here ever read 'Heart of Darkness' by Joe Conrad? Maybe you should. I know 'Apocalypse Now' is based on it, but the book had a greater impact on me.

'The horror' is right!

Yes, he's a wayyyyyyy better writer than I. But again, it's not like I started my completed project (which really should get one more edit run for spell-checks to Un-Americanise anything I missed) with the intention of putting it on the web, and it's definitely NOT HERE FOR COMMERCIAL PURPOSES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Damn Rome, her infernal monetary economy, and her even more infernal church!

Ye Gods!

2010-10-31T21:01:00.000-07:00

One of my short story volumes DID get a hit from Saudi Arabia. Israel, too. Two of the most indoctrinated cultures of the world.

When will the people be cut loose of the forced illusions?

No, I'm NOT holdin' my breath.

If I do catch on in Saudi Arabia, will I be banned or have a fatwa put on me, I wonder?

Yeah, riiiiiiiiight. I'll catch on there when it snows in Death Valley in July.

They'll ask what planet I'm from. Well, me personally. . .this one. My ancestors. . .that's another story. They landed on a Beltane, though. Hmmmmmmmmm! Wonder if we'll celebrate it this year, and if so. . .how?

I didn't used to think much of it. Oh, the music and the food was good. I used to get a wee bit of mead, which I rather liked; but for the most part, in my younger years I thought everyone acted kind of stupid at those gatherings. That did encourage me to do my best to avoid ever getting drunk, not that this was too difficult. I tolerated wines and ales, rather than liked them. Everything I was given with alcohol was generally watered down, anyway. I was more into fruit juices, milk, buttermilk, and the herbal tays. Water was all right, but I generally preferred that straight from the frigid streams.

Obligations, Knowledge, Options, Decisions

2010-10-31T21:00:00.000-07:00

You've served me well. It's time for you
To get what we both know is due.
You're tenure's up. You are now free
For helping out my legacy.
For what you've done, I've let you know
From whence you came, and where you'll go;
Depending on the path you choose.
With me you will have naught to lose,
Though now it's not just me, but us.
Another's vested in you, thus.
It is much better, three than two,
For wisdom, power, and the brew
Of art that we can leave behind.
You can now come to me to find
All you were ever looking for;
And with my mate, a whole lot more.
So take my hand, walk to my Gate;
Where Thanatos is also bait.
You can now bring end to the slime
Of living life on overtime.

I Feel The Earth Move Under My Feet

2010-10-31T20:59:00.000-07:00

Well, not me personally; but are we having enough major quakes? Oh well. More to come. Then there's the flooding, the temperature extremes, snowing in Australia in December, and is it real, or is it High Frequency Auroral Research Project up in Alaska doin' weather modification?

After all, there's so many damn people, they breed like fookin' cockroaches, they are so incredibly stupid, so they must be eliminated? Well, couldn't education and cultural reprogramming have prevented that? But the thing is, they also don't want people to have sovereignty over themselves. Can't have them self-sufficient and uncontrollable, can we? Must keep the 'slaves' under lock and key of fear and pointless laws that do nothing but inconvenience them, and take away their right to autonomy, health, and every right they were born with.

So they want to put toxic Neotame in food now, and have it go in unlabled so the informed can't tell they're eating it. FDA should be put out of commission. Corporate whores of the nth degree. They're hardly doin' the job they're supposed to be doin', legalisin' neurotoxins in food like MSG, Aspartame, and titanium dioxide is NOT a food product. Sodium benzoate is a pesticide, but the people are pests, and. . .not to mention all the other chemical additives that really should be avoided.

Some countries, a lot of people smoke. The governments don't try to discourage it too much. After all, these countries are rather crowded, so let's see what we can do to curtail the lifespan, not to mention there is a lot of money in tobacco.

Well, the information's out there. If ya wanna commit slow suicide, feel free. A gun is faster, though. Or if that costs too much, oleander salads are cheap. Not pleasant, but it doesn't cost much; and if ya screw up the first time, ya can do it again, huh? YES, I'M BEIN' SARCASTIC!!!!!!!!! (Sort of.)

**************************************************************************************************************

On another tangent. . .I am so annoyed with myself, and everyone else. We all write poetry, and we're all writing about things we should have moved on from. I'm the absolute worst, but the feedback I'm getting both in person and in verse from my two 'co-workers' just make it impossible. In fact, every once in a while, all three of us work on the same damn piece, not that this happens very often. Generally, if it's longer than five stanzas, if truth be told; someone else other than the 'credited author' has helped a bit either in nixing a line, or suggesting a rhyme or something, not that I post too much of their stuff anymore. They can get their own damn blogs, though they refuse. That may change, but I'm not holdin' my breath.

So it looks like Volume #9 will never end in the virtual world. C'est la vie. Or should I have chosen other words?!

Prob'ly!

There Were Things I Never Used To Think About

2010-10-31T20:58:00.000-07:00

Things I used to consider superfluous, or an outright nuisance. Then I do a 180 degree turn around after having my face rubbed in them. I've become more hedonistic. I've always been on the asocial side, but I've become a tad more contemptuous of the masses. I also look forward to being spoiled in various ways, and put forth a bit of effort to instigate it. After all, around here; when someone does something for someone else, they generally get repaid big time, and it goes on and on and on. The three of us really do seem to exist for each other, and I think I'd spontaneously combust if the other two disappeared from my company. Losing either one of them would leave a void in me I couldn't cope with, and I know for a fact it's the same with them. We do joke about being The Unholy Trinity.

I wonder if I should consider myself corrupted or enhanced from after I'd adopted my protégé?

I don't know. I have changed a bit. Some things I used to do only for pleasure are now an obsession, like my art and quest for knowledge. I'm more focused on what I'm doing, when I'm doing it. I've developed new hobbies that I never even considered when I was younger. I've also become more obnoxious, and have been inspired to find new ways to exhibit it; considering I've about been challenged to do so.

I guess that makes what has become of me, a package deal. But still being trapped in the realm of duality, what can I expect of anyone or anything, huh?

When Everyone Else Is Doing It. . .

2010-10-31T20:57:00.000-07:00

DON'T!!!!!!!! The world is screwed up. The majority did it. If you are part of the majority, you helped. If you go against the trends, you are probably a part of the solution, and I'm talking about the "Do ye no harm, do as ye will" factor. I'm not saying go on a homicidal rampage because no one else is doing it, I'm saying cut up your credit cards, adopt instead of having your own (and treat the kid RIGHT, huh?), say the Hell with vanity, the Hell with trying to impress the neighbours with your stuff; if they even care. It's not necessarily good to be envied, anyway. It can make you a target.

Respect ALL life. Respect the Earth. Yeah, ya can still swat that mosquito that is making lunch of you, but RECOGNISE it IS a sovereign individual of another culture whose language you will not understand as you do it. On a sub-atomic level, that mosquito, every rock you kicked, every meal you ate, every molecule of air you breath is EQUAL!!!!!!!!! Thank the soul of what you are eating for having been sacrificed. You may meet it in the Afterworld one day. Don't follow the crowds aimlessly. They have all but destroyed the planet. I mean, come on! Looking at how the human race lives, I'd say they have the intelligence level of something between an amoeba and an unhatched egg.

If you think it's wrong or destructive, DON'T DO IT!!!!!! Try to exploit others (of all species) as little as you can. And remember the purpose of life! You are supposed to be EVOLVING!!!!!! Instead, it seems most are falling into a bottomless abyss. Well, they'll come around eventually, but what a long road they'll have to travel. Is it worth it?! To exist so many times in such a high density locale, where you are stripped of most of your abilities, the access of TRUTH, and to be at whim to the environment and each other, many of who won't leave you or well enough alone?

Then again, why did I even bother writing this?! Garbage in, garbage out, to most.

Oh well. Not really my problem. Not for long, anyway. I will be retiring all the way pretty soon, and I won't have to deal with any more idiots unless I go out of my way; which I won't! Trust me!

To Walk Two Worlds

2010-10-31T20:56:00.000-07:00

It's a pain in the butt, but those who know they do wouldn't want it any other way. Everyone does, really. Some just dismiss the Otherworld as dreams. Strange, but in reality, that world is more real than what they call reality. Dreams are a furlough from the illusory prison of the Physical State.

Some who are aware continuously long for the dreamscape when in their general awareness of so called 'life'. They feel trapped, but they know the rules. They asked for where they're at, and they have to 'finish the job', so to speak.

The job of going back to where they came from. . .untainted. UnFALLEN.

I Sit On The Edge Of Forever, And Bide My Time

2010-10-31T20:55:00.000-07:00

I'm hatin' every nanosecond of it!

Seems like the closer you get to your goal, the more time slows down. After all, time is subjective to an individual's perception. You get to the home stretch, and all suddenly goes slow motion.

It's like the day before a weeks vacation of a job you hate, or when you look at the clock, and you see you have 30 minutes left. It becomes the longest day or half hour of your life. What's eighteen months in a complete galactic revolution of 25,765 years? Or, if you add everything together, 18 years and roughly 4 months?

Oh well. Bein' here makes me appreciate my REAL home a bit more. Makes me appreciate my real self, a LOT more. Gods, it takes willpower to finish what I set out to do. For all I know, how can I be so masochistic and stupid, some time?!

Aye, it must be genetic. My da did even worse than I.

Progress

2010-10-31T20:54:00.000-07:00

Morgan's pictures went up on The Guild today. I don't like all of them, but most of them are fairly good. Not top notch, not too clean, but I like 'em anyway. Did a good job in capturing what I looked like when I was 17 in 'Protégé', and 'From Forever To Eternity'. Thought I looked like crap on 'Counterparts' and 'Wish You Were Here', but I wasn't there, so. . . Also coulda done a better job on 'We Can Sit Over There', and I really WISH another draft or two of Thanatos in the 'caged' harness had been done, but I can forgive the burnout factor interceding on that last drawing. (Gods, imagine a black and white photo of that. . .or more poses! Ain't gonna happen, though.)

OK, so in the collection I don't like three of them. 20 outta 32 ain't bad. For the third time, here's the link to the complete set with actual titles to each picture:

http://s8.photobucket.com/albums/a24/Morgan665/

And here's the link to the slide show on The Gothic Writers Guild:

http://www.gothicguild.org/index.php/component/content/article/64-slide-show/323-slide-show

And I wish this blog thingy gave us unlimited space for posting. That way my book series wouldn't get get read out of order on this blog set, perhaps? What's the point if a middle volume is read, and there is no idea how we (allegedly) got there?

I suppose I could put the next link to each volume at the end to the prior volume, but I am on dial-up, and what I should be able to do in 10 minutes would take half the day. I don't think so. But here is the link to get all the links in sequential order, which is a Hell of a lot easier than goin' to my profile and goin' through the Roman numeral sequence which my pretentious self just HAS to use:

http://vergilxanon.blogspot.com/2010/10/xanon-chronicles.html

Still tryin' to figure out why our second collection of poetry has so many hits, but not the first.

Don't answer that! After all, I don't really exist, do I? This blog isn't real. It's an illusion, right? How can it be anything else? Why would a Gate Keeper from pre-history all of a sudden show up on blogger, spewing a bunch of B-rate literature along with the rest of my rantings?

Yes. Just an illusion. Along with the rest of life, which will be laughed at after transition; by those evolved enough to see it for what it is.

Gods, I Am Soooooo Out To Lunch Some Times

2010-10-31T20:53:00.000-07:00

Go figure. I followed my massive hits to find I have advertising on a certain forum due to the Mullethead, that I hadn't been told about (Thank you!). I also had to go back to each bleedin' volume and tell everyone to go to the page with the listed links in order if they got there out of order with another post entry, as opposed to putting the link to the next blog on the bottom via an edit. That wasn't too bad, time-wise.

So why am I telling everyone this? Why not? After all, you're there, right? Even if I'm not.

I ought to go back to posting relevant stuff, as opposed to these silly personal revelation, huh? Later. I'm playing with something that may end up in verse or something that may seem another stream of consciousness epiphany to some.

Free In Late April Of 2011, To Do As I Choose. . .I Think

2010-10-31T20:52:00.000-07:00

Got the last bits of my project in place. I just forgot one little item, and now it's there. I don't know why I don't think of some simple things sooner.

Probably because they're too simple. . .and I'm too damn distracted. So much to do, here. So much I have to do, with no way around it. Such is life.

Glad I don't have to be a corporate whore. I'd never get anything important done. But that's the idea, isn't it?

In The World, Not Of It

2010-10-31T20:51:00.001-07:00

I see Shiva in his classic meditative position in the middle of a war. I see a hurricane party. I see a kid with his ghetto blaster, dancin' in what's left of the decrepit buildings of what was industrial Detroit. I see a lass breakin' out in the song, "I Feel The Earth Move", as an earthquake strikes. I see a combination of detachment, and a lot of fun. I see wisdom. I see individuals who know the score.

And I see I might still have to stay my full alloted 18 months. Seems like my side-project is in desperate need of an overseer, from what I just saw. People really should make it a habit to double check their work. So shall I spend the rest of my perhaps 14 odd months in nihilistic hedonism even though I know nihilism is a flawed philosphy?

Nahhhhhhhh. But I will continue bitching about my state, and I must admit I still don't know for sure how long I am stuck here. I only know the absolute worst scenario, which is that I'm trapped until about mid-April of 2012 if everything goes wrong. Bein' homesick is a drag. At least I have my best mates with me, and though for all my complaints, quite a bit of fun is had. It's just when you know there is something better. . .